Edited to add ~ The medical supply place in Gainesville sent boxes for us to return the medical stuff...wheelchair (hate typing that), feeding pump, i.v. stand (hate typing that, too). The boxes came a few days ago and startled me because I couldn't remember what it was for. They had Andrew's name on the label and it totally confused me for most of the day. Then it dawned on me.
Today, without warning, the UPS truck came for the boxes. We didn't have them ready. I cannot look at these things. I asked my husband to put them all in the garage weeks ago...8 weeks ago.
I haven't asked for prayer in awhile. I am asking now. My husband will have to do all of this because I just can't. But the UPS man will be back tomorrow and I will be here alone. I will have to get the boxes to him and I am so afraid of seeing those boxes. My heart beats faster and I get hot and choked up just thinking about it. So, I just need prayer for myself...for our family.
Thank you.
update to above ~ He is boxing the stuff right now. I will leave them in the garage and when the UPS man comes, I will just raise the garage door. It will be ok.
"Remain"
by Melanie Dorsey
Empty vessels,
Jars of clay
We are yours.
Have your way.
In us,
Around us,
Beneath us,
Everywhere.
In dancing,
In mourning.
Fill.
Empty.
We are yours.
Have your way.
In us,
Around us,
Beneath us,
Everywhere.
In dancing,
In mourning.
Fill.
Empty.
But remain.
(photo by Linda Charlene)Just going through some pictures...
So Andrew...I just love him...and oh...how I miss him.
The Fam...in Gruene, TXShort-haired girl, shaggy boys!
That T-shirt One Fine Man is wearing is one of 2 I have threatened to burn. I have just seen enough of them...especially 2 years in a row in our Thanksgiving pic! But, I sure love the man inside the T.
(taken spring -09...before the nightmare began)
'Can't help lovin' that man of mine...
One Fine Man sent me the sweetest email from work yesterday. He is so patient with me. I have books everywhere, get the bed made maybe 2 x a week, leave dishes in the sink until a burst of adrenaline hits me...and I'm pretty much a mess most of the time now. But he loves me.
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For better or for worse......that's where love is. He is modeling to your other children what a good husband does. Bless your heart and his!
ReplyDeleteSuzanne
Thankfully GOD takes the pain and heartache of our messes and turns them into beautiful blessings. HE is transforming and healing a broken heart moment by moment.
ReplyDeletePrayers, love, and big hugs,
andrea
What a GREAT man!!! So glad you have him and HIM!
ReplyDeleteThe poem was great and I enjoyed the pictures. The one of you and your husband is really good. How pretty you are. I am thanking God with you for that hubby of yours. Just another way the Lord is showing you His love and care for you. Have a good day. Hugs, Debbie
ReplyDeleteA beautiful family, a beautiful love! Faithful husband, faithful God!
ReplyDeleteAs my hippie son in California would say:
"Peace and Love"- to you today, Melanie.
(my hubz has t-shirts from college days -25 years ago- he still wears- drives me nuts, I know what you mean!)
Melanie, I've recently become acquainted with another blogger named Cindy. She is going through the loss of her son too. I recommended that she visit your blog as I do believe it helps to comfort each other.
ReplyDeleteLove you and continue to pray for you and your family,
Debbie
Love those pics especially the one of you and your hubby.
ReplyDeleteHe is a huge blessing, I'm sure.
Prayers for you, sweet friend...
I'm a mom of four and grandmother of six and I cannot imagine losing any of them. I have prayed for you many times as I have read your blog. Another blog I follow is Michael Q. Pink, and he recently lost his wife. Today's blog was very good and thought you might get strength from it. Love and blessings in Christ, Sue
ReplyDeleteYou need all the love in your life that your husband provides, and he needs your love as well.
ReplyDeleteKeeping you in my heart and prayers always......:-) Hugs
Dear Melanie,
ReplyDeleteThirty six years ago my brother died in a tragic accident. He was only nine years old. I relate so much to what I'm reading on your blog these days. I know the pain and the grief, although not as intimately as you do.
Your post today made me want to encourage you to hang in there. Especially in your marriage. You know the statistics, I'm sure. As one of the siblings left to sort out the pain of her parents, I always am so grateful that mine stayed together. That has been one of the greatest blessings of my life, and one I do not take for granted.
I would love to encourage you more--I'm writing a memoir about my experience now. Feel free to email me any time.
God bless you, Melanie.
Shelly
It is such a blessing to have a man we can lean on. I know that mine is a rock. Loved your prayer.
ReplyDeleteAbandon yourself into the Divine Arms and do not fear and leave the door to your heart wide open for Him so He can do His work in you. God bless you. ginny
How can someone like me who never met Andrew miss him so much too...I do. I wish I didn't have to wait to meet him in Heaven. You have such a precious family and thank the Lord for sweet and understanding husbands. (((hugs)))
ReplyDeleteWhat's not to love? You are lovely & loveable!
ReplyDeleteMay God fill your empty places with himself today.
Think of you often. So thankful that God has blessed you with such a beautiful and loving family and husband.
ReplyDeleteCome over and check out my giveaway.
Hugs,
Tara
'Empty, fill, remain... and fill again', and He will!
ReplyDeleteBlessings and Hugs today!
Sonja
Hi Melanie,
ReplyDeleteLovely pictures of your family :) What a blessing it is that you have such a sweet hubby!
May God (fill) you with MANY blessings!!
Much love and hugs....
Jerelene
Melanie~ I loved your poem... It is the cry of my heart, too.
ReplyDeleteAlong with praying for you and your family individually, I am praying for your marriage... and I know the Lord will continue to bless and enrich you and "One Fine Man" as you love each other through this tragedy.
Jennifer
Great 'classic' t shirt:) I have a few of those myself. So does my man. Your words always stir me Melanie. I pray God fills you to overflowing and marks your children's lives with special blessings of His Presence. Hugs to you my friend. B
ReplyDeletepraying. can't imagine. praying more.
ReplyDeletei'm starting to love that man of yours too...i like how God knew exactly who we'd need by our sides.
beautiful poetry. sits deeply in my soul.
love, love, love to you and enough grace for tomorrow
Happened upon your blog by chance
ReplyDeletesome time ago and have been praying/lifting
all of you up each step of the way, with my
mothers heart aching, and tears for your
pain. Our God is bigger than this grief, and
confusion, and anger and day by day~hour by hour~
second by second~He is with you and will bring
you through this fire, just hang on to the hem of
His robe!!
it is good to know how to pray for you......each day presents new challenges..isn't it wonderful that God has given you such a wonderful husband and family for support. I pray for them also, for their own pain that they must experience. God is faithful and He will sustain you.
ReplyDeleteMelanie, Jesus will never resist bestowing on you some comfort and solace. Be assured of my prayer. This is what I pray when I am fearful....
ReplyDelete"Oh God, you are my God and I will trust in you. You will assist me and be my refuge and I will fear Nothing. amen
Oh, Sweetie, that sounds so cruel to have to get that stuff ready! Praying for you ~ I loved your pictures. And I'm so glad you have such a wonderful husband. God bless you and your family. Love, Cathy
ReplyDeleteMelanie,
ReplyDeletePraying for you and that very moment during the day tomorrow that you will feel the Comfort from the ONE who cares and holds your heart in HIS. The ONLY ONE who truly knows your pain ~ may HE pour over you tomorrow in a whole new way!
Love to you and yours!
Melanie: Continue to pray for you and yours. Hugs, Martha
ReplyDeleteYour beauty shines. And your man's does too. I'm praying for you.
ReplyDeleteI continue to send love, thoughts, prayers your way dear mom. One step, one day at a time. Your testimony shines bright to me.
ReplyDeletePolly was at Bible study last evening. We buried her daughter last summer, my dear friend Beth. Polly's grief has been tremendous on so many fronts. This is the first time she's been back at study since Beth's going home to Jesus.
ReplyDeleteAnd last night she spoke up (which is completely out of character for Polly). Last night she spoke about a fragment of peace she had experienced in recent days. Just a fragment, but just enough to remind her that she is OK and that God is enough.
Needless to say, I was hanging on every word her heart was speaking.
May you know a fragment of God's peace today, friend.
~elaine
it will be okay. my mantra for the past days.
ReplyDeletei always sing that song to my kids, "just remember i love you and it'll be okay."
i felt God saying as i sung it to my son last week, "lisa, just remember I love you and it'll be okay."
melanie, just remember.
Oh, Melanie. My heart is breaking for you. Thank you for asking your blogging friends for prayer!! Ask and you will receive!!! Prayers for you and your hubby are on the way!
ReplyDeleteOh Melanie,
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry... Sending hugs and many prayers your way now.
Can't wait till we are all together again.
Love you♥
Dearest Melanie,
ReplyDeleteMy love and prayers are surrounding you. I love the photos of your precious family.
Love you.
Melanie - I haven't commented in a while, but please know I am continuing to pray for you and your family. Honestly -- God brings you to my mind quite often. And I pray. I can't even begin to know what you are feeling. All I do know is this - God is good. And He is sovereign. And He loves.
ReplyDeleteGwyn Rosser @ The Pink Tractor
www.gwynrosser.blogspot.com
thank you for sharing your family with us
ReplyDeletei can't imagine how hard this is for you all
thankful for your man
hugs
I love Gruene. We go there almost every summer. To eat at the Grist Mill and to dance at Gruene Hall. I have been exactly where your picture was taken. From now on when I am there I will remember your family and say a prayer for you. I will never look at that little yard the same again knowing that Andrew has been there.
ReplyDeleteI love Gruene. We go there almost every summer. To eat at the Grist Mill and to dance at Gruene Hall. I have been exactly where your picture was taken. From now on when I am there I will remember your family and say a prayer for you. I will never look at that little yard the same again knowing that Andrew has been there.
ReplyDeleteI was touched... by your journey, your strength your faith and our hope... you see I too have a sweet child playing in heaven. His name is Blair and no one wants to talk about his short life anymore ... as he left us Jan 2/86 at the age of 4months. I miss him dearly ...but look forward to spending eternity with him. May you know others are continually lifting you up as you journey this life,... we won't forget. those that share life's grief.. a mother who sits in tears reading your journey. Till we meet again...
ReplyDeletePam