To read part one, go here.
I’ll answer those questions from my perspective.
· My life feeling off kilter, out of balance, upside down? YES!
· Feeling on the inside far from picture perfect even when others commented that I “had it all” or “had it all together”? YES! (I don’t think anyone feels this way about me anymore.)
· Knowing that God knows EVERYTHING but wondering if He truly cared about my desperation and my pain? YES!
· Questioning whether He is a God who intervenes…still? YES!
And what about my dreams, hopes and confidence buried in a dark place six feet under?
The first time I stopped alone at the grave site of my twelve year old son, Andrew, I stumbled from the van to the dark soil of the plot. Tears streamed and dropped off my cheeks. Falling to my knees, I dry heaved. I wanted to die so I could see my son.
As the weeks passed I began to run again. Another heartbreaking issue reared its ugly head in our home and I knew I had to get to a healthy place in order to fight and shield my family from more fiery darts. Running each day was the setting in which a kind of dance between God and me took place. I won’t go through the details here because I do that in my message entitled, May I Have this Dance?
As God and I moved to the music of His magnificent sunsets, I hesitantly revisited those buried treasures – dreams, hopes, confidence in myself, confidence and trust in Him. They were like garments that I held up, examined and determined whether to keep, give up, or trash.
What about you?
Do you have buried treasure? Is it time to dig it up? Re-examine the garments of your past hopes, dreams and plans and assess what is for keeping, giving away or trashing?
(to be continued…)