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Mar 2, 2011

Part 2 "Life ~ Not What I Thought"

 To read part one, go here.

I’ll answer those questions from my perspective.

·        My life feeling off kilter, out of balance, upside down? YES!
·        Feeling on the inside far from picture perfect even when others commented that I “had it all” or “had it all together”? YES! (I don’t think anyone feels this way about me anymore.)
·        Knowing that God knows EVERYTHING but wondering if He truly cared about my desperation and my pain? YES!
·        Questioning whether He is a God who intervenes…still? YES!

And what about my dreams, hopes and confidence buried in a dark place six feet under? 

The first time I stopped alone at the grave site of my twelve year old son, Andrew, I stumbled from the van to the dark soil of the plot. Tears streamed and dropped off my cheeks. Falling to my knees, I dry heaved. I wanted to die so I could see my son. 

As the weeks passed I began to run again. Another heartbreaking issue reared its ugly head in our home and I knew I had to get to a healthy place in order to fight and shield my family from more fiery darts. Running each day was the setting in which a kind of dance between God and me took place. I won’t go through the details here because I do that in my message entitled, May I Have this Dance?

As God and I moved to the music of His magnificent sunsets, I hesitantly revisited those buried treasures – dreams, hopes, confidence in myself, confidence and trust in Him. They were like garments that I held up, examined and determined whether to keep, give up, or trash. 

What about you?
Do you have buried treasure? Is it time to dig it up? Re-examine the garments of your past hopes, dreams and plans and assess what is for keeping, giving away or trashing? 

(to be continued…)


  1. Don't do that to us! It's like a suspense blog. What reared its ugly head???

    By the way, I sent your info to my pastor's wife today. I realize it's a longshot to get you here (not sure they would fit the bill for travel expenses from Florida to Oklahoma), but I would sure like to meet you in person and hear your FULL and COMPLETE testimony.

    If you are ever near Oklahoma, please let me know. Maybe we can figure out a way to get you here or get me there!

  2. Thank you Melanie For sharing from your heart. Life is not at all what my husband & I thought it would be like. I realize that if the world had not turned upside down I would not be following God in the ministry I am pursuing now. I look forward to reading more of your journey.


  3. Just caught up on parts 1 & 2. Thank you for sharing "from the heart." It's clear this is from deep inside you and your vulnerability in sharing is appreciated. xoxox.

  4. You know Melaine, I have been physically going through 'stuff' and making decisions on what to keep, give away or trash. It's not an easy task just weeks after the death of my hubby but a necessary part of the letting go. Yet, my heart says don't touch me! Don't you dare go near the emotions that are buried deep within my soul! Hopes, dreams and purposes are gone. At the same time I don't like feeling this empty and void of life! I know there is much to be looked at but it is oh so Hard!
    Thank you for continuing on your journey and allowing us to venture with you from the outside! Blessings to you, Cindy

  5. Thank you Melanie for answering your questions
    but then you threw another deep one out there.

    (hmpf)I think it's very hard for me to revisit the buried treasures but as I come across some I need to do one of what you suggest but usually I bury (or leave them) again. I would have said I need to trash them but I'm learning how to look at the beauty in the ashes and in the garments
    through the lens of Christ's righteousness and what would He have me do with this or that?

    Beautiful how you dance with God and share with us!!! I'm being stretched today... to go beyond
    and live in Christ in garments of praise, but somehow Lent always draws me into the depths of sorrow and repentance when I should be perhaps more grateful in that there by the grace of God go I... I really would like to recapture some dreams that I've had to bury... and rejoice in the truths I've believed... I need to reclaim and prepare for a JOYFUL Resurrection.

    Thanks once again Melanie from your heart and your journey, you bring threads of restoration and hope.

    Love, peace and JOY still,