Steady On...

Edited to add:
I had a comment that questioned the verse I quoted from James. Yes, verse 5 is talking about "wisdom" but James' conclusion is "...for let not that man suppose that he will receive ANYTHING from the Lord..."
I think James says "anything" because he means "anything" including wisdom. But if he were only referring to wisdom, why use the word "anything"? I think James was making a point about guarding against vacillating between belief and disbelief.

A few years ago, my grandmother passed away at the age of 103. Before she passed, she had a huge tumor on the side of her face. It was disfiguring. My mamaw was ready to go on to heaven but the family prayed that she would be healed from the tumor before her journey "home." God answered that prayer and before she went on to glory, Mamaw's face was completely healed. There was no tumor at all! It was a Miracle.

God has instructed me to look only to His word. I must be obedient to that. When I look at His word, Jesus healed ALL who came to HIM.
This is MY child lying in a hospital bed. Medical intervention provides little hope for a positive outcome...that means there is not much hope for survival even with chemo and radiation.
This is life and death to us. We come to Jesus and Him alone for our hope. We do not look to the wisdom of man. We look to the power of God. My purpose is not to offend. My purpose is to go by the Word and that alone.

Yesterday I had a discussion with my daughter. We have had daily phone calls, FB communication and text messaging. She is a full time journalism student and works part time. She leads worship, playing her guitar. She is very protective of her little brother, especially now. We have been having deep discussions on the whole aspect of healing and miracles. You are probably not surprised that has been the topic of most of our family conversations.

Our family has no doubt that healing is God's will. Our family has no doubt that believing and not wavering in your confidence in God plays a large part in seeing healing and miracles manifest. James 1:6-8: "But let him ask in faith with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways."

Fix your eyes on Jesus. Believe His Word. Refuse to doubt that He will do what He says He will. Unbelief is the enemy of faith. Settle it in your mind! When you have settled it, don't allow yourself to become unsettled. Don't be anxious about anything; Pray about everything. Everything you receive from God is received by FAITH. We walk by faith ~ not by sight.
So, steady on...saints...steady on.

Andrew ~ Eating but needs to eat MORE or feeding tube is coming. So we have to work on this TODAY. Has had physical therapy twice today and a visit from Rosie the golden retriever who makes bedside visits.

The nurse told Andrew he could have cake and ice cream if he wanted it because they want him to increase his calorie intake asap. When she told him he could have sweets, he glanced at me as if I were going to say something about the sugar. Oh...he knows me well.

The last cultures they have taken did not show any new bacteria growing so that is a VERY GOOD REPORT TODAY!!!

Because of that report they have changed his antibiotics to one that is more specific to the infection he is fighting.

According to the surgeon we will be here several more days.

Wherever we are...the fragrance of the knowledge of HIM is spread everywhere.

Love to you all!

It's A New Day!

Did you know that you may be the deliverer of a miracle? God looks for volunteers to carry out His agenda.
Several years ago, I heard a Christian woman say that God doesn't need her! What?! I think what she meant was God could use her or use someone else ~ that it didn't really matter. That sounds to me like someone trying to be humble. Like someone misunderstanding what "humble" really is.
Let's talk about "humble." The Bible tell us in Numbers 12:3 that Moses was more humble than any man on the earth. Think of all Moses accomplished as he partnered with God! God spoke with Moses face to face (Numbers 12:8). God's anger was aroused on behalf of Moses when Aaron and Miriam spoke against him. Moses' humility came as a result of the relationship he and God had. Moses was willing to risk the criticism and loneliness that sometimes comes about when one steps out and up to the plate to do what God has instructed. Moses cared more about God's opinion of him than he did of the opinion of others. That's what made Moses humble.

It seems to me that when we look through the Bible, we see that God looks for specific people to carry out his plans. All of David's brothers were marched out as candidates for King. But David was the one God chose for the assignment.

Think about the miracles that God does. Very seldom in the Bible do we see that God does a miracle without "partnering" with one of us! All of us can point to examples when God broke through time and space and touched earth without a human "partner." (The ten commandments, writing on the wall..etc.) Sometimes He sends angels. But most often miracles are "wrought" by the Power of God working in a human being.

Our part is to believe that God can and will do what He says He will. The Bible tells us that we have the mind of Christ but it also says you should "let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus..." Phil 2:5.
See my point. We have the mind of Christ but must still let the mind of Christ be in us.

More later...

Our Miracle Child ~ Andrew!

Weeping endures for the night, but JOY comes in the morning. Tuesday night and Wednesday were very difficult days for us. I felt like I was losing my "fight." But my husband was able to be strong when I was weak. After surgery I slept on the sleeper chair while my husband waited on Andrew through the night. Even though I heard every monitor beep and every exchange of words, just being able to lie still was refreshing.
My husband and I have a pact. No matter what we hear, no matter what someone else's belief may be, we are taking our spiritual authority over our son. God gave him to us to steward his life and we intend to steward well while he is in our care.

(LET ME INSERT HERE THAT WE ARE SO THANKFUL AND BLESSED BY EVERY PRAYER YOU HAVE PRAYED FOR ANDREW. WE DO NOT DISCOUNT YOUR OUTPOURING OF LOVE AND SUPPORT. I HAVE FELT IT AND DEPENDED ON IT!PLEASE DON'T STOP PRAYING.)

We are the ones, who other than God, love Andrew the most in the world. We are the ones who conceived Andrew following a rough patch in our marriage. Andrew was our "miracle" child. He cemented our love and commitment to one another and to our family.
From the time Andrew was a little baby, he always had a smile. For a while, his dad called him "Smiley."
We want that smiling boy back again and we KNOW we will have him.

Yesterday I thought about the Apostle Paul's words, "For me to live is Christ and to die is gain. But if I live on in the flesh, this will mean fruit from my labor..."
In thinking of those words, I also thought about how we Christians believe that God has a purpose and a plan for each of us. I have asked God that Andrew fulfills the plan and purpose for his life. For Andrew to live is for the cause of Christ. I want our family's purpose and the individual plan for each of us to go forth. It is the enemy of our souls who attempts to thwart God's plan. He is the one who wants to take us out to keep us from fulfilling our purpose on this earth.
I want our family to go together (alive) in the rapture of the Body of Christ. This is what I am asking.

Again I am reminded of the scripture in Eph. 3:20, "Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly, abundantly more than we can ask or imagine according to the POWER THAT WORKS IN US, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen."
God does the miracle and the healing...but he expects us to do the work of believing, praying and receiving. And if you have ever been in a position where with man, the "work" seemed impossible, then you know how much "work" is involved in keeping your faith built up, your fear down and your belief in the POWER of God to manifest the outward sign of an inward healing.

It was Jesus, the Son of God, who said that with God, all things are possible (Matt. 19:26).
Do we really believe that ALL things are possible with God? Do we REALLY believe that? Or is it just a comforting thought? Belief or thought? You must choose.
I choose to BELIEVE. I choose LIFE.

Our warrior, God's newest recruit in HIS army, ate a little bit of a banana today. He sipped a little bit of Ensure and reported it to be "nasty." Sergeant Mom had to get stern with him about eating real food because word has it that if he doesn't eat today a feeding tube will be necessary.
If you could see Andrew's shaved head, you would see he looks like he just got the "new recruit buzz." Still handsome though...just waiting for that smile!

Be encouraged today that whatever you are facing, WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE. Don't give up the good fight of faith! It really is a fight sometimes. Fight for your marriage, fight for joy and peace in your home, fight for your health, fight for your children's spiritual growth, fight, fight, fight soldier. FIGHT! Yes, the battle is the Lord's but he needs you to do your part. Why else would he tell us to put on the full armor? Because we have to fight.
Love,
Melanie, Dan, Audra, Avery & Andrew (Ted, too)
* All of our family and friends appreciate you sisters (and brothers) interceding and encouraging me...all of us. My husband has been so thankful for the support you have given me. It truly has kept me built up when I have needed it soooo much. And I am still praying for those of you who have needs.

There Is a River

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of our God;

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of our God;

So I will rejoice, I will rejoice and be glad.



There is a fountain full of grace and it flows from Emmanuel's veins,

It came and refreshed me; It came and it healed me; It came and it washed my sins away...

And I will rejoice, I will rejoice and be glad.

I will rejoice, I will rejoice and be glad.

Andrew's headaches are only relieved by morphine. He has asked me to sing over him and rub his feet. He talks very little. He is very tired of all of this. I have told him he will have to fight and not give up. I remind him of how determined he was to learn new skateboarding tricks.

Please pray for relief from the headache. Please pray that the infection leaves quickly. Please pray that Andrew keeps fighting.

Last night I asked if he wanted me to read to him. He said, "Read the Bible."

I read Psalm 27, 91 and 97. Then I told him the story of the persistent widow and how Jesus used this parable to teach us to keep on asking, keep on praying and not give up.

I told him somehow he had to look past the present circumstances because there will be an end to it. He asked me how he could look past what was happening. He asked me why God doesn't just heal him.

All I can tell him is that we have to keep praying and believing that healing will come because God doesn't lie and He is the One who tells us He is the Healer.

Then I sing some more and I rub his feet and his dad keeps cold cloths on his forhead and eyes. We thank God for what He has already done and for what we beleive He will do.

It is very difficult right now. But we still believe in a good God who is the Healer. We still believe for the miracle to be completed.

Seeking The Kingdom First

It's me. I have few words today. I have cried a river of tears in the past 48 hours. Although the first lab report showed no infection, infection came later. Andrew had to go back into surgery. The surgeon reopened the incision and cleaned out infection. Andrew's skull bone was infected so that was removed. He has a titanium flap to keep the shape of the top of his head. Because the surgeon needed to shave two wide areas on top of his head, we opted to have his entire head shaved. We just told him that today. I think that is the least of his concerns. His head is wrapped turban style and there is a temporary drain for the fluid and another drain that is deeper in his brain to drain spinal fluid.
So far the cultures that have been tested are good. The spinal fluid was sent to the lab a few minutes ago and we should know something about that in a few hours.

Specific prayer: Pray that test results are good ones. Pray that when Andrew is moved, the roommate situation will not be a source of stress. He is being moved today. We have no control over that. Picu is quiet and the nurses are great here. But we will not be allowed to stay here.
Andrew has had a headache today. He had Tylenol, then Percoset and finally morphine. Pray that the headache is gone when he wakes and does not return.We were told this morning to expect to spend about 2 weeks in the hospital.

Finally, pray for my husband, myself, our other children and my parents. This, obviously, affects the entire family.
We need your prayers to strengthen us in this battle for our son's life and health.
I need YOU, YOUR prayer, YOUR faith.
This is where I was directed in God's Word this morning: "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you" Matthew 6:33.
These are the very words of Jesus. They are precious to me this morning.
Again, thank you for praying for Andrew. We still believe in a miracle and 100% recover. No backing down. No giving up. No giving in. We owe that to our son.
Love,
Melanie & family

He's in surgery.

Just got an update that my brother is in surgery right now.
They are draining the wound on his scalp and cleaning it up.

Pray there is no infection and no more complications.

Thank you!

Audra

*They may do an MRI today.Pray it shows NO TUMORS!

Emergency. We need your prayers!

Please continue to pray for Andrew. Last night Andrew had a headache and was throwing up. My parents decided to take him to the ER early this morning.

We're just praying God orders all of my parents steps today in order to carry out the healing in Andrew's body.

I felt like God gave me 3 words to describe today...
Completeness
Wholeness
Rejoicing

I believe that TODAY is the day of completeness and wholeness and rejoicing! Thank you for continuing to stand and agree with us for a complete and total healing with absolutely no more invasive surgery, NO chemo, and NO radiation in Jesus name! We're asking for it all! Thank you and we love you!

Audra

The Bracelet ~ Hearing HIS Voice

A few months ago I felt impressed by the Lord to give my favorite bracelet away. This bracelet was only worth about $40 but I wore it often. It was silver and had crosses in different styles on it. The person to whom I felt I should give it is an older lady who had earlier refused my offer of gas money. I wondered if she would refuse the bracelet, too. I wondered if she would even wear the bracelet. I wondered if she would be able to clasp and unclasp the bracelet.

Because I thought I knew more about this precious lady than God did, I did not give her the bracelet the first time I felt impressed to do so. A couple of Sundays I actually didn't even wear the bracelet to church. If I didn't have it with me, I couldn't give it away. Then, there was the thought that maybe God wasn't telling me to give the bracelet away at all. Maybe it was just a random thought I had! Not.

Finally, I decided that I would stop trying to excuse myself from obeying God's leading. On a Sunday morning while getting ready for church I decided to obey God that day about the bracelet. By now I just wanted to get give the bracelet to the lady and be done with it! That morning there was an altar call and this lady went for prayer. I went down to pray with her and talk to her concerning her need. At the end of the prayer time, she looked at me and said, "No one has ever told me what you did. I'll be thinking about this for a long time."
It was then that I took my bracelet off and put it on her wrist.
She didn't refuse! She loved it!
I was so relieved.
Several times when I would see her at church she would simply hold up her arm and show me she was wearing the bracelet. She told me that it reminded her to pray!

I have no idea why God wanted me to give away a relatively inexpensive bracelet.
But I do know that He wants us to obey His voice even when we don't really understand the significance of the action.

If we don't train our spiritual ears to hear HIM when all is well, how will we discern HIS voice when we are in a dark valley...even the valley of the shadow of death?

"But solid food belongs to those who are of full age, that is, those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil" Hebrews 5:14.

I wrote about another time that God prompted me to give something away. You can read about it here. (Be sure to read parts one and two.)

We are headed back to Shands in Gainesville today. Andrew is scheduled Wednesday morning to have a "port" put in for the chemo drug.
Thursday morning he has another MRI. I am asking God for this MRI to show that HE has already removed all traces of cancer.
HE is a good God, mighty to save! HE is trustworthy. We continue to obey HIS word and come boldy before the throne with our petitions. We continue to hear HIM speaking words to us that we cling to as we walk holding HIS hand through this valley.
One final thing: Yesterday we called to find out if the fluid that was drained from Andrew's head showed infection. IT DID NOT. PRAISE GOD FOR ANOTHER ANSWERED PRAYER.
Thank you all for praying about that!
Love,
Melanie & family

~(Pictures taken 12/08)~

Andrew...out on a limb. But we know Jesus is the vine and we are the branches! (John 15)

Brotherly love...Avery & AndrewAudra & Andrew

Melanie, Dan, & our boy, Andrew

Pictures of Andrew

Andrew and I went to an Art Fair in June. He likes graffiti art!

A favorite thing this summer...visiting Phillipi Park to rock climb, and pose on this tree for Mom's camera.
One day after brain surgery. That is not a bandage on his head...just a cold cloth. The surgeon only shaved a little hair.

Today (9/20/09) after a shower and shampoo. Andrew's hair covers the incision. When Andrew smiles a genuine smile, it is perfect. Here it is for the camera...so it's crooked. I don't care!

Why Wouldn't I Ask for All?

Did you ever hear of God doing a 1/2 way miracle? Neither have I. What He begins, He is faithful to complete. And we KNOW that God began a MIRACLE for Andrew on 9/11. Before surgery, the surgeon warned us that Andrew might lose cognitive abilities, might be permanently paralyzed, might have a stroke, might not even wake up!
He woke up. He is Andrew. He remembers things from the past and things from this morning. He is walking as well as he was before surgery and we are believing that all loss of function WILL return.

And so we continue to persist in prayer. We continue to believe. We continue to watch our words.We are not giving up. We are not giving in. We are not settling for less than God's best for Andrew and our family. God has been glorified, is being glorified and will continue to be glorified.

I understand that sometimes we have to go through a process. Of course I get that. I've been through some "stuff" that took some time. So have you.

But my mother's heart is asking God for the completion of the MIRACLE and this week before treatment is scheduled would be fine with me!

Today I got to share with my personal doctor just where we stand on Andrew's 100% recovery. I have been seeing this particular doctor for about 3 years now.
Today I had to go in so she would write a prescription for me. I knew she would need to see me. No calling this one in because I haven't seen her in over a year!

Of course she asked me how things had been going for me. Now I hate telling what is going on right now but it is necessary in order to tell someone what we are believing!
So I gave her a brief explanation. Being a doctor, she wants to know the cancer type. I REALLY HATE THAT PART. But you know what? At the NAME OF JESUS, every thing that has a name has to bow to the NAME OF JESUS.
I have noticed that when I tell the diagnosed cancer, my voice is low and quiet. BUT WHEN I TELL THAT WE ARE BELIEVING FOR A MIRACLE MY VOICE IS STRONG AND AUTHORITATIVE!

I told my doctor: "We are Christians and 1000's of people are praying for Andrew. We believe that God healed, God heals, and God WILL heal!

She responded that miracles do happen. At the end of the appointment she hugged me and said she would pray for my son. I don't know what her belief is but she knows what we believe. God is a healer.

We live in a fallen world. The enemy is the author of sin, sickness and disease.
God is the creator, sustainer, redeemer and healer. What the enemy intends for our harm, God turns to our good and HIS glory!
Salvation was provided for in the death of Christ on the cross. Healing was provided for in the stripes on his back. Jesus went about preaching, teaching and healing the sick. There were so many miracles that He performed that if they were all recorded there would not be enough books! And He's just about to complete the one He began on 9/11.
Cancer is a terrorist. I declare war on cancer. Cancer...every kind...has to bow to Jesus!
And so we worship. We praise. We pray. We groan. The Holy Spirit intercedes and prays for us when we don't know how. Jesus is at the Father's right hand making intercession for Andrew...for YOU.
Makes you love HIM more, doesn't it? Makes you want to know HIM better, doesn't it?
He longs for more intimacy with you. He's calling out for you. He loves you so much if there had been only YOU, He would have given His life for YOU alone. In fact, HE did.

Simply Amazing! That's Our GOD

We had a good night! Praise God for that and so MUCH MORE. "Home" is a beautiful word.

We are home.

As we are awaiting the lab report on the fluid that was drained yesterday, we are believing that God has already gone ahead of us and we will get a good report ~ no infection.

Yesterday as we left our home to return to Shands in Gainesville, Andrew told us he was hungry. His appetite has been very good, maybe a side effect of the steroid he is on. So we stopped at our favorite place for quick food: ChickFilA. The drive thru line was looooong so I went in to order. The young man who took my order was Rob. He had such a gentle manner and I almost asked him if he believed in the power of prayer. I had a feeling he did. He offered to help me take the bags and drink holder to the car. Normally I would have refused, feeling that I could manage it. But through all of this we've gone through, any offer of help is welcome.

As we walked out the door, he asked me if I was on my way back to work. I told him no, that we were on our way back to Gainesville because our son needed to return to the hospital. Rob is from Gainesville and asked if we were going to Shands. I briefly told him what was going on and he asked for the name of our son. I knew what was coming. Rob offered to pray for Andrew. I opened the side door so Rob and Andrew could meet. I told Andrew he had one more person praying for him. Rob was very friendly to Andrew and got a smile from him. Just a quick little blessing that God gave us as we drove back not knowing what the next few hours would hold.
As I have said before, "We don't know what is in our tomorrow but we know God has already been there."

Following the CT scan, we went back into the surgeon's clinic where his PA drew the fluid from Andrew's head. The PA told me that there was a woman in the room next door who had mentioned Andrew and me and said we had been communicating online! Then she said the woman's name was CELESTE WELCH.
Celeste left a comment on my blog a few days ago. She was so encouraging and let me know that the same surgeon and oncologist had treated her 5 year old who was diagnosed with a brain tumor at 10 months. PLEASE PRAY FOR VALERIE GRACE!

So right next door was Celeste and Valerie Grace. I walked out and Celeste and I hugged one another (3 or 4 times!). I got to thank her for her encourgaging comments and emails. Celeste had also contacted friends from her home church in Gainesville who emailed me offering their support. One of her friends was actually working on the PICU floor while we were still there and she came in to meet us!
Amazingly, Celeste and her family had just arrived from Ecuador yesterday morning and needed to have Valerie Grace seen that day by Dr. Pincus. Valerie Grace is beautiful and told me she would miss me! I got to hug her, too!

Can't you see how AMAZING our GOD is! "He makes; who can unmake?"

Celeste and I marveled at how we met yesterday. Who could have arranged that but God?!

Andrew is asleep now. I prayed over him this morning that he would fulfill the plan that God has for his life. I prayed that he would be a living testament and testimony for the glory of God. I prayed that many would come to know the beauty of Christ because of Andrew.
I continue to pray for those of you who have made a request. I am interceding on your behalf. God is a God of multiplication. I pray that as Andrew receives his MIRACLE that you will receive YOURS.
If you have stopped praying because you have grown weary or been disappointed, begin praying again! Ask God to give you direction from His Word that will reignite your "prayer fire." This is a SEASON OF MIRACLES.

Later today I plan to upload some pictures so you can see Andrew, crooked smile and all. As I blow dried his shampooed hair (per doctor's orders) I told him to let me know if it was too hot on the incision. He said since it was itchy, the heat felt good, like it was scratching it. I reminded him that when I had a bad case of poison ivy a few years ago, the hottest water in the shower felt good on my arms because if felt like they were being scratched.
That's when Andrew said, "I felt bad for you then, Mom. Is that how you feel now for me?"
I said, "Yes, son, I feel bad for you."
Andrew responded with this: "Don't feel bad for me, Mom."
"Why son?"
He answered, "Because it's not that bad."

My precious son, how I love you! And how I love your dad who has shown how tender he can be in his care for you. And how I love the Lord who is the Good Shepherd and watches over you, tender little lamb.

Pictures later...

Home Again!

I just wanted you to know that we are home again. It is a 3 hour drive from our home to Shands in Gainesville. Because Andrew started feeling fluid building in his head, we needed to go back to the hospital for a CT scan. Praise the Lord! The CT scan did not show hydrocephalus. If it had, he would have needed a shunt.

So the surgeon's PA used a needle to drain the "stuff" and they will send it to the lab. Since they would not have the report for about 3 days, and since Andrew was feeling fine otherwise, we got to come home.
Specific Prayer: Pray that there is no bacteria in the fluid and that it is simply fluid that has not reabsorbed properly...but should naturally over some time.

Tomorrow I will share a couple of encouraging moments that happened today. One is from a guy named Rob who works at our local ChikFilA. The other I am waiting on permission to share. But if you scan my comments, you will find out what I am talking about. What a "God ordained moment"!

One reason I am so glad to get home is because I need to be in my prayer closet this week.
I have discovered that in worshipping God we gain strength and in offering Him praise, we find our joy!

One more thing: We have THE BEST friends some of whom happen to be our neighbors, and we have THE BEST church family. And we have THE BEST sister bloggers (a few brothers, too). And I just want to tell you all how much you are ministering to our family. I am one of those people who has always been independant, not wanting to imposition anyone, and feeling uncomfortable in a position of "need." But God is showing me that I can change and I can accept help whether it be from the "bag boy" offering to help me with my groceries all the way to accepting cash from "anonymous" to help pay a bill. Church family, friends and neighbors who are friends have helped us in so many ways. We have received cards, askateboard magazine and a prayer shawl & a beautiful print from blogging sisters!
There have been other offerings of love, too. We appreciate all of the food that ha been brought over. My mother is here but she is in need of a physical healing, herself, so meals help out a lot!
Help in different forms has arrived from people we know, people we haven't seen in years and people we don't know at all.
But we know the hearts of those who have ministered to us.
Keep praying. Keep believing. Keep holding on to the promise of a MIRACLE in your life!
I'm still praying for those of you who have shared requests and I'm praying & believing BIG for all of you! Why not go for it? I really think it pleases our FATHER.
I'll post more tomorrow. I've got some good stuff to share!
Love,
Melanie & family
And, yes, "a crooked smile" from Andrew!

UPDATE - Back to Shands ~ HOME

UPDATE:
Sorry to say, there may be a problem, so the surgeon wants us back for a cat scan. We're leaving but hoping to come back home soon. God has not left us, of that I am assured. We don't understand what is happening but we know God is good ~ always.
Please pray this latest thing is not serious. Please pray we can come back home for a few days after all. Andrew needs your prayer for hope and encouragment. I want him to smile today.

We're home. Yesterday was very hectic and followed a night of little, if any, sleep for me. My husband had stayed up all night Sunday so he slept on the sleeper chair. Andrew had a difficult night Monday due to a roommate being brought in around 10:30 p.m. It was a stressful situation. No details because I want to put it behind us. But because of information that is supposed to be private, yet how private can it be with a curtain between one patient and another, Andrew was frightened with what he overheard. He cried silent tears then asked me, "Why am I going through this?"

I lay as close to him as possible, trying not to cry myself. I did everything I could do to comfort him, protect him and help him relax. Then I stood guard throughout the night. Praying. Crying. Watching.

The next morning I became the "squeaky wheel" to get out of there fast. We were discharged around 10:30 a.m. but couldn't head home until we met with the doctor at the cancer clinic.
We also picked up a wheelchair to use when out of the house this week.

Yesterday was 21 days since the first visit to the family doctor. And here we are.

More later today...

DARE TO ASK; DARE TO BELIEVE; DARE TO EXPECT

How is Andrew? I had a question about how Andrew is doing today.
So I just asked him, "Andrew, how are you doing today?"
Andrew says, "I'm fine." That's it. That's all I got!
What I see: The physical and occupational therapists came by this morning and did what they do. Then they helped him out of bed to use the bathroom. That's when they were happy with the strength he had in his left leg. He does need help, of course, but we're happy with his progress after Friday's surgery.
The surgeon, Dr. Pincus, visited Andrew this morning and he is also happy with what he is seeing. He showed my husband the MRI from Thursday that we brought with us and the one taken Saturday morning after surgery. I just didn't want to see it.
My husband said the two scans were like night and day. Dr. Pincus feels there is about 20% of the mass left.
Dr. Amy Smith talked to us this afternoon and wants us to plan to be back Monday or Tuesday. She is reviewing the pathology report of the tumor that was removed and will call us tomorrow. Dr. Pincus thinks there is a possibility that the tumor is a different type than what was originally diagnosed. I have purposefully not given the type of tumor here because I don't want you to "research" it. Sometimes finding out what is known about certain types of cancer can be very discouraging. Right now I can't afford for you or me to be discouraged. It's not that we're putting our heads in the sand.
Dr. Amy and I talked Sunday afternoon and she layed everything out for me. My reply, "Only God knows the number of our days and we trust Him. We're going with God."
She told me that some people come in and are in such denial that they don't make good decisions. She also added that she doesn't see that we are doing that. She said that was proven Friday.
God has given us opportunities to share where we stand and who we are looking to.
We are seldom met with opposition. And on some occasions we are cheered on and even get an "Amen!"


What would you say is the biggest hindrance to Christians (the BELIEVERS) in asking God for the REALLY BIG STUFF as they pray? Most Christians, I would assume, believe in the power of prayer and have faith at least the size of a grain of mustard seed.
I believe the answer to why we back up in our faith when we need a miracle is because we have been disappointed in the past when we've prayed in faith believing and haven't received our answer to prayer.
Now I know what you're thinking. Sometimes the answer is, "No" or "Wait." I get that. But we are in a position now where we WANT, NEED and EXPECT a miracle of Great proportions.
Dare we ask for Andrew to be 100% restored? YOU HAD BETTER BELIEVE WE DARE TO ASK FOR THAT. If we are going With God on this, then why not ASK FOR ALL HE CAN DO?


I have been thinking about the biblical examples of Jesus healing people when He walked this earth. The woman who had been bleeding for 12 years aggressively moved through the crowd encircling Jesus and she touched the hem of His robe. She said to herself, "If I can but touch the hem of His garment, I shall be made whole." She didn't even ask Jesus to heal her. In fact, Jesus asked, "Who touched me?" Her persistence in faith appropriated the healing virtue resident in Him. (Mark 5)

The blind man heard the approach of Jesus and cried out, "Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!" The crowd tried to silence him. But the Bible says in response to them, "He cried out all the more."
"Son of David, have MERCY on me."
Now this is the part I like. Even before Jesus healed blind Bartimaeus, the passage in Mark 10 records, "And throwing aside his garment, he rose and came to Jesus."

What I see from that passage is that the blind man was making a statement. A bold statement. Before he even had his miracle of healing, he was giving up the identity associated with a blind beggar. The poor and the sick wore garments identifying their status. They held out cupped hands hoping to receive the charity of passersby.
Baritmaeus was so SURE that Jesus would heal him that he didn't wait until his eyes COULD see again to discard the "label of a diagnosis."
And Jesus asked Bartmaeus, "What do you want Me to do for you?"

There was a lame man who lay by the pool of Bethesda (John 5). Many lay there waiting for an angel to come down and stir the water. The "first man in" was the fortunate recipient of healing. Bethesda had five porches. The number "5" is representative of "grace" and the Hebrew word from which "Beth" is derived means "house." Jesus, present in the House of Grace, walked by the man and asked him, "Do you want to be made well?"
Notice the lame man didn't really answer the question. He gave an explanation as to why he could not receive healing. His answer, "I have no man..."
In other words, he was in need of assistance. What he didn't realize is that in getting the attention of Jesus, he didn't need a "man" because THE MAN was at his side. There was no longer a need to wait on someone else to intervene and help him beat the rush on a miracle available to one person at a time.

I'll share more later. I need to help Andrew with his breakfast now. But know that I will be praying for all of you who gave me your requests. Some need a deliverance from fear, panic and anxiety. Others have asked for prayer regarding illness, including cancer. There is a precious five year old girl who has been recently diagnosed with a brain tumor. Her name is Kate. Then there is the beautiful high school girl named Rachel who needs a miracle, too! And my new blog friend battling ovarian cancer and then there is Peggy also diagnosed with cancer (lung).
There is Clint P.'s father in renal failure.
And also the "other Andrew" wherever he may be who needs a miracle.
God can HEAL ALL. Let's ask in faith, believing that we have entered into A SEASON OF MIRACLES. Have you caught the scent of healing on the wind? I have.
Love you all!
Melanie

REJOICE

Last week my husband was trying to catch up on the yard work. As you can imagine, lots of things have fallen to the wayside since Andrew's "medical" diagnosis. My husband took a break to come inside and tell me something. With tears in his eyes he said, "God told me 'Let no one mourn for us; Let everyone REJOICE with us.'"
I said, "Yes. That's it."


Friday on our "MIRACLE DRIVE" to Shands, we prayed almost the whole drive. I had my Bible on my lap and I heard my husband, Dan, say, "Father, just give us a word for right now."
I whispered, "Yes, Lord, we need something right now. Immediately I heard in my spirit, "Psalm 97." I did not recall a particular verse from Psalm 97 but I turned to the passage and read it aloud.
It begins like this: "The Lord reigns; Let the earth rejoice..."
In verse five, I read, "The mountains melt like wax at the presence of the LORD..."
I reminded Dan that we had been speaking to the "mountain" to be removed and cast into the sea, never to return and leave nothing in its place that God didn't design.
Verse eight: "And the daughters of Judah (praise) rejoice..."
Verses 11 -12: "Light is sown for the righteous, and gladness for the upright in heart. Rejoice in the LORD, you righteous, And give thanks at the remembrance of His holy name."
I said, "We need to fill this vehicle with rejoicing and praise."
And we did.
During Andrew's brain surgery, we gathered in the family waiting room. My husband and I, our other two children, my mother, family friends including our pastor and his wife sat reading scripture, praying and believing for a good outcome. I asked one of our friends to read Andrew's Psalm (27th) from The Message Bible. It's the version his sister put on a poster board for Andrew's room.
This same friend offered a portion from Lamentations chapter 3 from The Message.

We talked a while longer. Then I felt we needed to sing. I asked the precious group assembled with us if we could sing, "There is a River whose streams make glad the city of our God..."
Voices raised in harmony, praise and worship.
"And I will rejoice, I will rejoice and be glad."
"There is a fountain, full of Grace and it flows from Immanuel's veins.
It came and it healed me; it came and refreshed me; it came and it washed my sins away!"
"So I will rejoice; I will rejoice and be glad."

I spoke to Dr. Amy Smith yesterday and told her I had to know something: "Do you have hope for Andrew?"
She said, "Yes."
We sat and talked for several minutes and she went through her proposed plan for radiation and chemo. After hearing the hard news that even with the surgery, the type of cancer we are dealing with is very resistant to treatment, I told her I understood the reality and we will continue to place Andrew back into the Father's hands. I told her that Andrew belongs to God and we have been given the privilege to steward him and we WANT him. "We are believing for God to do what only He can do," I continued.
I added that we would continue to fight the good fight of faith and also search for every thing in the physical realm to help our boy.
She and I both had tears in our eyes. I told her, and she agreed, that God led us here on Friday and He would not let us go nor leave us.
I will REJOICE, I will REJOICE and be glad..."

I know you may be weary of praying for THE MIRACLE FOR ANDREW, but please don't give up hope and please continue to speak about him to the Father. If you prayed even once for Andrew, know that YOU have been a part of the beginning of The Miracle that saved his life on 9/11. We look forward to sharing the completion of that MIRACLE!
Love,
Melanie & family

Praising God!

We rejoice in the goodness of God in the land of the LIVING! GOD IS ALIVE AND WELL AND SO IS ANDREW!

From Wednesday - Friday, Andrew was suffering with a terrible headache and intermittent vomiting. He had not eaten because of the scheduling of two MRI's with sedation. He was beginning to look like death. He slept between my husband and me Thursday night so I could be on watch in case he vomited. Because of his left side weakness, it was very difficult for him to raise himself up without our help. I was afraid he would aspirate the vomit so I kept a watchful eye and a prayerful heart throughout the night. The only thing he asked for was a cold cloth on his forehead and for me to rub away the pain. Mothers, you know that whatever it takes to bring relief to your sick child is what you will do. Friday morning I got up at 5:30 to do some research. I updated my blog and looked at a FB message from someone who had sent me a link to Shand's hospital. I had heard about Shand's over the last 2 1/2 weeks but had been in such information overload that I had not contacted them.

I had mentioned to someone and maybe in a post here that we were beginning to wonder if all of the delays in treatment were "God delays."

I went online and found the number for the cancer center at Shands. With one phone call I was transferred to Dr. Amy Smith, one of God's finest - of that I'm convinced. I told her how desperate we were and she told me to get here and she and Dr. Pincus would see us. She also told me that she was doing treatment that was so new that she had not yet opened it as a clinical trial but had already used it with some kids whose diagnoses were very bad. We hastily packed bags, made a couple of phone calls and got Andrew ready for the 3 hr trip. He lay reclined in the seat with a cloth on his head. I changed it out when it got warm. He only drank enough water to take some meds. He ate nothing which turned out to be a good thing.

On the way I was also in touch with a patient coordinator from St. Jude. This woman, Tabatha Doyle, is the sweetest most generous woman who truly desires to help people! She told me to keep the appt. at Shand's and let me know if we wanted to keep driving to St. Jude's in Memphis. She gave me her cell phone # and told me to keep checking in.
On the drive I would check on Andrew who lay motionless and hardly talked except to tell us how bad his head hurt.
We put him in a wheelchair and held his head up while we waited for a consultation with Dr. Amy Smith and Dr. Pincus. After viewing the MRI cd we had carried with us, Dr. Pincus told us that as risky as surgery would be, it was the only thing at this point that would save Andrew's life. Possible risks included permanent left side paralysis. Dr. Pincus was prepared to do surgery as soon as possible. I felt in my heart that we needed to do it. My husband was very torn about what to do. We discussed it and prayed and called Tabatha Doyle again from SJ. She assured us that Andrew was in excellent hands and that Shands and St. Jude's referred patients to one another. She said if Dr. Pincus is telling you it's the only thing to do to save Andrew's life, then do it. This helped my husband have peace, too.
As we have done many times since August 26, we placed Andrew in God's hands. I told God, "Andrew is yours, Abba Father. Papa he's yours. We trust his life in your hands."

We called our pastor and his wife and they picked up our other two children and my mother and drove straight to Gainesville. We wanted to wait until they could see Andrew before surgery. When we told Andrew that the surgeon wanted to take some of the tumor out and his head would feel better he said, "When can he do it?"
That led us to have him taken right away into surgery so our son would not have to suffer from the excruciating pain in his head. I asked Dr. Pincus, "Do you feel he will make it through the surgery?" He assured us Andrew would survive surgery and we gave him permission to get started.
I'll tell you more details later but just know Andrew is talking to us, made an inside joke that the nurse didn't get but we did! He wants to see Ted, his dog, and is trying to move his toes and fingers on the left side.
Oh...And we ARE being led in TRIUMPHAL PROCESSION in CHRIST and through us He spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of HIM. And He is sweet perfume -the Balm in Gilead!!!
Thank you sisters and brothers who have stood in prayer, awakened in the night, had your children praying, sent us emails, comments, scriptures, devotions and battled in spiritual warfare for THE MIRACLE FOR ANDREW. I know that the Father is faithful to complete what He has begun.
Love you all so much!
Melanie, Dan, Audra, Avery & ANDREW (Ted, too.)

I will be back later because I want to share a few more encouraging things with you. Maybe they will help you should you be walking through the darkest of valleys.

EDITED @ 8:00 P.M. EST Urgent! Please Pray!

It's me, Melanie (Bella~Mella). The surgeon just spoke to us and Andrew came through surgery. He removed most of the tumor. Dr. Pincus said when Andrew wakes up, we will know if there is any damage...loss of cognitive ability, paralysis, etc.
WE ARE BELIEVING FOR THE MIRACLE TO BE 100%. KEEP BELIEVING WITH US!!!
AS ALWAYS, WE ARE GOING WITH GOD ON THIS.
ANOTHER HOUR AND WE WILL SEE THE GOODNESS OF THE LORD IN THE LAND OF THE LIVING.
THANK YOU SISTERS FOR YOUR INTERCESSION, FOR NOT GIVING UP, FOR WAKING IN THE NIGHT TO PRAY, FOR ENCOURAGING ME.
LOVE,
MELANIE,
&
KISSES FROM ANDREW (SKATE~BOY)


Hey bloggy friends!

This is Lisa for Melanie. I just spoke with Melanie and as we were speaking Andrew had just been taken back for surgery. Life-saving surgery. They've had a rough three days and this morning God led them to a hospital in Gainesville called Shand's. Dr. Pincus is performing a surgery on a cancer they were told is inoperable. Please pray for Andrew and Dr. Pincus and the entire Dorsey family. The surgery will last for approximately four hours.

Lord, You are mighty to save. We believe you are still in the business of miracles. We believe that even though the doctors may say Andrew's life hangs in the balance, actually it is You who hold Andrew's life safely in the palm of your hand. Lord, rise today with healing in your wings as you cover Andrew in your shelter. Holy Spirit, we ask that you minister peace and comfort to those who wait...on you. Still the hands of Dr. Pincus as he takes on this nasty disease. Lead us all in prayer as we storm the gates of heaven on behalf of Andrew and the Dorseys.

In Jesus' Name Amen!

Don't Give Up On God

URGENT: WE MUST DO SOMETHING IMMEDIATELY...ON OUR WAY TO SHANDS IN GAINESVILLE FOR CLNICAL TRIAL. CALLED THIS MORNING AN SPOKE TO PED. ONC. WHO SAID GET HIM HERE. TREATMENT PROPOSED AT MOFFITT NOT HELPFUL FOR KIDS.
THIS IS A DESPERATE SITUATION FOR ANDREW. WE KNOW GOD CAN DO A MIRACLE AND CONTINUE TO EXPECT ONE. GOD IS OUR SOURCE. WE MUST TRUST HIM.

There are some things that only God can do. When others are guessing as to a cure, when others are offering various methods that have worked for some, when you are going through the darkest valley of your life, DON'T GIVE UP ON GOD.

I don't know why people suffer, especially children. If I could take the pain Andrew has on myself I would do it in a heartbeat. But I can't. I can only do what a mother can do. That is weep, pray, praise and SEE with my spiritual eyes what I know God is well able to accomplish in my son's body and life. We are doing all we know to do in the spiritual realm (fasting, persisting in prayer, worship, praise, speaking to the "mountain") while also searching for everything we can do in the physical realm.
Since Wednesday we have felt as though we are walking down a deep, dark path hoping against hope that soon the light will shine on our faces again.

Immediate prayer need: Pray that the headaches stop and the vomiting ceases. Andrew told us this morning that he is so tired of it all. Pray that he does not give up and give in. Pray that he is encouraged and will fight the good fight of faith.

We were told yesterday that treatment will probably not begin for another week. They are waiting on this latest MRI to form a plan of radiation. But we don't know if our son can wait another week.

Please, if you need prayer for anything, let me know. It is my privilege to add your name to my personal prayer journal. As I wait on the wall for my son, I'll stand in the gap for you. I mean this. Let me know your prayer need whether it seems big or small. If it's important to you, I'll pray.

I'm contacting St. Jude's again this morning to see if we can get Andrew there.

I'm praying for YOU!

MRI today at 4:00 est.

To all who have asked me to pray for you for your deliverance from fear, know I have already called your name in prayer several times. Also to a special woman who is going through cancer herself - I'm calling out your name! I will continue to do that even as Andrew is having his MRI this afternoon.

Though his symptoms are increasing, we "do not look at what's happening but SEE what's coming!"
Be encouraged, God is more than able to do exceedingly, abundantly MORE than we can ASK or THINK according to the POWER that works in US...

I love you, sisters & brothers in the Body of Christ.

More to come later!

Fearless - Continued & MRI update

Today on the way to get the MRI w/sedation, Andrew vomited so it was a no go because the place we were sent to was not a hospital with capabilities of using a breathing tube in case of vomiting under sedation.
We are rescheduled for tomorrow afternoon at All Children's Hospital.
PLEASE PRAY THAT WE HAVE WISDOM. We are beginning to wonder if these delays are "God delays." We just don't know.
But what I do know is God is a good God and always worthy and always trustworthy.
No doubt about it!
Still standing in faith for THE MIRACLE FOR ANDREW.

I had reached a breaking point. The fear that gripped my mind was so strong at times I felt as though an actual presence was overshadowing me. I hesitate to share that in the thought that some may find it too much to read and thereby too much to believe. But the Bible does talk about a "spirit of fear" (2 Timothy 1:7).

I can remember like snapshots in time when I was terribly afraid at night. The kind of fear that makes you sweat but still you pull the covers up over your head. There were moments of sheer terror in which I tried not to even move a muscle and longed for the relief that comes from falling asleep until the morning sun lit my room. But I never told anyone. Not my parents. Not my friends. Not my husband. Fear had me convinced that speaking about it would make it that much worse. And I didn't think I would survive the nights if they were any worse than what I was already experiencing.

Fear paralyzed me when I was pregnant with our first child. My husband worked third shift and I and my swollen belly were alone in the dark. Fear continued its torment when my husband's work required frequent travel. I became a "door checker," double checking that the doors were locked even when I knew they were.
We had a king sized bed and I could relax better if all three children were with me at night behind a locked door. I did my best to hide my intense fearfulness from everyone, especially my children.
Maybe someone reading this is "there" now. Just keep reading. There is deliverance from the "spirit of fear." I am a walking testimony of that!

When I reached my breaking point it coincided with my hunger to know God's Word and to have a closer, more intimate relationship with Jesus. I felt I should fast for a breakthrough.
More later...it's late and we have a long day tomorrow.

~~~~

Please pray that the tumors will not grow. We aren't scheduled to start treatment until next Monday and Andrew just told me that it is getting harder to move his leg. We are looking into other treatments in other places but time is of the essence.

Continued here from Tuesday's post:

Our church was having a special guest, a man who taught on fasting. He had lived a lifestyle of fasting and had seen great results through it. The church was encouraged to fast.
I made up my mind to fast for 3 days in order to hear from God and to seek freedom from the "spirit of fear." At the conclusion of fasting I attended the night service in which our pastor had told us to expect a move of God.
I went expecting to be freed, delivered once and for all, from fear. I sat in the pew and the time came when the pastor began to pray for people. I sat waiting for what I thought would be my opportunity. I sat with my heart beating furiously and my palms pouring sweat. I sat waiting for my opportunity.
My opportunity came in a way I didn't expect.
The pastor called for people who had "addictions."
At the word "addictions," I felt I should go for prayer but I didn't have an "addiction."
And yet, I still felt that I should go forward for prayer.
I thought, "What if this is my opportunity and I miss it because of pride?"

When you are really desperate for freedom, for relief, for God to do something big for you, you lose your pride. You put what others may think about you behind. How badly did I want to be freed from the overwhelming, paralyzing fear that arrived in the night to terrorize me?

I must tell you here that I knew ALL of the scriptures regarding fear. I quoted them over and again when fear attacked me. I prayed and wondered what else I could possibly do to rid myself of this enemy. Many times I thought of the words of Jesus to His disciples: "This kind can only come out by prayer and fasting" Mark 9:29.

I hesistated only a moment at the word "addiction," and then I got up and walked down the aisle where the pastor stood. He layed his hand on my forehead and prayed for me. In that moment I felt different and I knew something had happened.

From that night on I have never suffered from fear to the extent that I had before fasting and being prayed for to break an "addiction."
Yes, I have felt the "temptation" to give into fear but I always remind myself and even speak aloud that God delivered me from a "spirit of fear." There have been many more nights in which the children and I have been alone due to my husband's job requiring travel. A couple of years ago, he was in Australia for 5 weeks! I have learned to give our home and our children, my husband and myself to the safekeeping of THE ONLY ONE WHO IS ALWAYS TRUSTWORTHY. I trust Him with our lives and with our livelihood.
With Andrew's diagnosis, there have been many opportunities to fear, yet I am continuing to "lay him on the altar" knowing that God's intentions toward Him are good. I remind myself of the life of Joseph and what the enemy meant as a means to destroy Joseph, God turned for Joseph's good. We fully expect God to do the same for Andrew and for our family.

God doesn't give people cancer. God gave His Son, Jesus, who suffered on our behalf so we wouldn't have to. God is well acquainted with a suffering Son. His Son suffered so mine would not. Isaiah 53:5 tells me, "But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him and BY HIS WOUNDS WE ARE HEALED."

I have never shared this story of my deliverance from the "spirit of fear." Why do I share it now? Because I have committed to God that in what we are walking through with Andrew, GOD WILL BE GLORIFIED.
And if that means, opening myself up to you on a blog and making myself vulnerable to misunderstanding and perhaps even criticism because your theology differs from what I believe, then so be it.
I am officially out of the business of "impression management." That means I have relinquished my "need" to manage what anyone thinks of me.
If you struggle with fear, it would be my privilege to add your name to my personal prayer journal.
"Thanks be to God who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him" 2 Cor. 2:14
Andrew's Psalm - Psalm 27.
I love you, sisters.

No More Fear

June '09 - Andrew pushes us in a beach swing on HoneyMoon Island

It was my birthday and it was a GOOD day!

The night before I took Andrew to our family doctor to find out why he had lost use of his left hand, I was drawn to this passage in Isaiah: "You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You" Isaiah 26:3.

Upon examination, medical staff began scrambling to get Andrew an MRI as quickly as possible. Calls were made to several places and finally we got a spot. Andrew didn't make it to the finish of the first MRI. I did not know he could have been medicated and so I sat next to him as he lay confined on the table crying. I kept my hand on his leg and tried to will and pray peace into him at the same time.

I think I must have quoted Isaiah 26:3 a million times. Over and over again. But Andrew began to move around too much and the MRI could not be completed. They moved the table out of the tube and he begged me not to let them put him back in. This mother's heart was breaking. The technician told me if it were his child he would make him go back in. But it wasn't his child, was it?
I asked them to send whatever they had gotten to our doctor and maybe it would be enough to show there was NOT a mass on Andrew's brain.

A few hours later, I got the phone call that FOREVER changed our lives. When I was told the MRI showed a large mass on the right side of Andrew's brain, I asked twice, "Are you sure?" "Are you sure?" My husband looked at me asking, "What?" "What?"
"I don't think I can take this" I answered.

But here we are almost two weeks after that first MRI, an ER visit when Andrew began complaining of his left leg feeling heavy, two more MRI's under sedation, a cat scan, an EEG, a drug induced 24 hours of horrific hallucinations (decadron - the devil drug) , two very somber visits with an oncologist, and Friday's consultation with the doctors who administer radiation.

We have signed papers for medical treatment that make you shake and groan when reading the possible complications that could result.

But we have also committed our son to the Father and, I suspect, we will have to do this over and again. When Andrew was just a few weeks old, my father who is a pastor, dedicated Andrew to God in our home...the only home Andrew has ever lived in. We could stand in the same spot in our living room right now where we gathered with family and friends for the dedication service. He is the only one of our three who was not dedicated at church.

When Andrew was about a year old, the old enemy of my life - fear, had escalated to the level of torment. I had struggled with fear as a young girl and it seemed that the older I got the greater the fear grew. Truly, it was a "spirit of fear." The fear grew exponentially while I was pregnant with our daughter, who is now 19.
I could not relax if my children were not under MY care. Even when they were with my husband on an errand, I was anxious until they returned. I never shared the overwhelming sense of forboding and anxiety I had with anyone. My husband traveled frequently for many years and I was fine in the day time.
But night always fell. And fear always dominated. I would keep my eyes open as long as I could, watching shadows and listening for sounds in the night.
I never told anyone, believing that even forming the audible words would intensify the torment.
But the day came when I knew I could not go on any longer living in the day and terrified of the night.
I'll share my story of deliverance from the "spirit of fear." Maybe today. Maybe tomorrow. But I WILL share it. And God WILL BE GLORIFIED.

Thank you, sisters, for your sweet emails, comments, words of encouragement and intercession.
NO FEAR.

My Witnesses

God Is Great

Yesterday we had the meeting with the doctors who oversee radiation. The first doctor came in and spoke to my husband, myself and Andrew. He examined him - the same neurological tests as Andrew's had several times lately. By now we can all do this exam!
Then Dr. F. asked what Andrew knows. I told him what we have told Andrew. Then I said, "But we are Christians. And there are 1000's of people praying for Andrew and we believe God heals and that is what we are believing and expecting. So that's what Andrew knows."
I was met with a blank expression and silence. By the doctor's last name I could surmise his "religious heritage and culture." I was delighted to be able to share that the God of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and the Dorsey family is still healing today and that is what we are fully expecting.
Enter Dr. L. He and Dr. F. most certainly share the same cultural heritage. (Now I could be mistaken but I don't think so, especially when the word "kibbitz" was used. It was used in the context of "chatting" until Dr. L. could join us.)

So what is God up to? "...and through us spreading everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of Him."

On the first day, 8/26, when our family doctor sent Andrew for the first MRI and then called later to tell us the results, I told God, "You WILL be GLORIFIED."

So back to Dr. F. and Dr. L.
Dr. L. began telling us all of the side effects of radiation. You are probably familiar with the short term effects but maybe not so much with the long term effects. They are VERY BAD. This was the first time Andrew had heard any of it and I would have protected him but the doctor gave us no warning whatsoever.
As some of the worst things were named, I felt myself sinking.
But then, it as as though the Holy Spirit strengthened my spiritual backbone. I actually sat up taller. And all of those words, like arrows, just bounced right off of me.
I looked at my husband whose eyes were teary. I looked at our son whose head was hanging.
Later as we were leaving the parking lot of the cancer center, I said to Andrew, "I just want to say this: The doctor has to say those things can happen. But we are believing God will heal you and you will not face any of that. So let it go in one ear and out the other."

Now, even though we have been told this type of cancer is very aggressive and treatment should not be delayed, Andrew is not set to start treatment for a few more days. They are closed Monday! So Tuesday we go in for him to be fitted with the radiation mask, have a cat scan and another MRI.
Dr. L. said "things" can change and he needs a more precise MRI in order to know exactly where and how much radiation to deliver to the tumors.

I am praying and asking God that when the MRI results are in, it will show that God has already started doing the work and the tumors are shrinking. My heart longs for our son not to have to go through radiation and chemo.
I told Andrew that is what we are asking God and believing for. I also told him this: "I don't know that it will happen that way but I do believe that you will be healed and be 100% recovered."

I am very thankful for smart, kind and caring doctors, nurses and others in the field of medicine. They have blessed us through all of this with their gentleness and desire to help Andrew. They are not our enemy when they give us facts based on experience, science and research.

It's simply that facts change but truth is eternal. So we stand on faith not facts.

Last night I prayed for Dr. F. and Dr. L, especially for Dr. F. because he is the one in which I shared our belief in Christ and healing. I fell asleep praying for him.


Our enemy is THE ENEMY OF CHRIST and all that he attempts to do in order to thwart God's authority. He did it in heaven when he fought for control and took a third of the angels down with him. He did it in the garden when he tempted Eve. He has no new tricks. He is not creative. He is a liar and a deceiver.

Yesterday I found this in The Message and have been reading it aloud. Maybe you, too, will be encouraged by it.

"Let them (tumors) present their expert witnesses and make their case (for cancer); let them try to convince us what they say is true (no hope). But you are my witnesses. 'God's Decree.'
"You're my handpicked servant so that you'll come to know and trust me, understand both that I am and who I am. Previous to me there was no such thing as a god, nor will there be after me. I, yes, I am GOD. I'm the only Savior there is. I spoke, I saved, I told you what existed long before the upstart gods appeared on the scene. And you know it, you're my witnesses, you're the evidence." 'God's Decree.'
"Yes, I am God. I've always been God and I always will be God. No one can take anything from me. I make; who can unmake it?" Isaiah 43:9 - 13.

Wow! 'Love that, don't you?
I love you, sisters!

The God Word

He will pass through the fire, but not be burned.

Those are the words I felt were impressed upon my heart two days ago.

"But now, thus says the Lord, who created you, O Jacob, And He who formed you, O Israel:

'Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, Nor shall the flame scorch you"

Isaiah 43:1-2.

This week I have been thinking about God's preparation. For many weeks I have been preparing for a women's conference that my best friend, Alisa, and I were planning for 9/11 & 9/12. God had been taking me in directions that I had never traveled as far as studying His Word and writing teaching notes. Numerous times, I had retreated to my "prayer closet," the SECRET PLACE, and lain prostrate before God, seeking Him, worshipping Him, listening to Him.

Last week I realized that the preparation for the conference was actually preparation for what we are going through now with Andrew's situation. The report is he has an inoperable stage 4 brain tumor. It is in the white matter of his brain which is why it is inoperable. The oncologist does not offer much hope. (I detest even writing that but want you to know what we are dealing with.)

BUT WE ARE GOING WITH GOD ON THIS. WE BELIEVE HIS REPORT.

Each day the Holy Spirit speaks another LIFE GIVING WORD FROM THE LIVING WORD. Sometimes one of our family members will tell us what they are feeling and the Word that is coming to them and it is the same scripture or impression that I or my husband has been sensing for that day. THAT'S GOD.

Sometimes I will receive a comment or an email with a scripture that is like God answering my present question.

Yesterday morning I woke up with this, "Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen" Eph. 3:20-21.

I have also been thinking about some of the entries that I have posted on this blog over the past year. This one has had me thinking for a couple of day, especially in the light of Isaiah 43:1-2.

And now this is it for me: "And these three men, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego, fell down bound into the midst of the burning fiery furnace. Then King Nebuchadnezzar was astonished; and he rose in haste and spoke, saying to his counselors, 'Did we not cast three men bound into the midst of the fire?' They answered and said to the king, 'True, O king.'

'Look!' he answered, 'I see four men loose, walking in the midst of the fire; and they are not hurt, and the form of the fourth is like the Son of God.'"

He will pass through the fire, but not be burned...because Jesus is in the middle of the storm with Andrew. Don't give up on YOUR miracle. We aren't giving up on THE MIRACLE FOR ANDREW.

Triumphal Procession

Audra, Avery, Me, Andrew, Ted the pup - Mother's Day '09
Andrew, Dan, Avery - Christmas vacation 12/08

I'm praising God today. He is worthy, holy, omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent, alpha, omega, and already in our tomorrow!!!!!


When you read that, read it aloud so your own ears can hear the Good News of our God!

Let it soak down deep into your spirit where the Holy Spirit resides. Lift up a praise of adoration and thanksgiving because He inhabits, lives in, and dwells in OUR PRAISES.

And I'm thanking Him for the Body of Christ who battles with us in the eye of the hurricane.


While we had to face the "facts" of very bad news yesterday, the truth of God's WORD and His PLANS for Andrew and our family remain sturdy, solid and stable.

How you can agree in prayer with us: A miracle of healing, zero side effects from radiation and chemo which begins Monday. Wisdom in the best way to provide for him nutritionally and any other external approaches, peace for Andrew and a deep very personal relationship between just Jesus and Andrew. We also pray that Andrew would see the beauty of Christ and fall in love with His Savior, the One who suffered for him and all of us.

Andrew accepted Christ as his personal Savior a few years ago and this week we reasserted that with Him. Over the years Andrew (and my other children) have prayed on my behalf when I have been sick. Andrew knows that God hears and answers prayer and he fully expects that God will heal Him.
Pray for the doctors, nurses and all involved in Andrew's care.
How can I express my heartfelt gratitude, love and thanks for all of you who have blessed us and continue to bless our family in your encouragement, timely scripture (often reflecting what we are meditating upon for that day!), and intercession for Andrew and us? There are no words but if there were, they would fill the deepest, widest places.

And this is already manifesting: "Thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of HIM" 2 Cor. 2:14. NIV

Meeting Today

We are meeting with the oncologist today at 2:45 est 9/2. I'm asking that you pray that Andrew has a fullness of peace in his spirit, mind and body in the midst of whatever the doctor will explain to him. We are blessed that she is a Christian.