It's a rainy Sunday with cloudy, gray skies.
Lately I have wanted to be out in the sun as much as possible. But today may be an "inside day."
I received so many kind and moving comments and emails regarding my last two posts (Untitled parts One & Two). Thank you so very much!
I am finding grief to be an unpredictable emotion. I smile, laugh, cry and experience disbelief all in a matter of minutes. Sometimes I simply cannot believe that Andrew had brain cancer and died. A year ago this time, he was skateboarding, doing his artwork, and rushing through his math assignments. Knowing we will all be together in Eternity pulls me through many rough and rocky moments. Because, truly, this life is only a breath.
Sometimes I think about what I would trade to have him back. I go through a mental list...our house and everything in it, our vehicles...all stuff.
Everything and Anything.
What I would not trade is one of my other children. I don't add my husband because I know that both he and I would have given our own lives for that of Andrew. Either of us would have exchanged our lives for his.
So I remind myself of what I would not trade. A mother would not willingly choose to exchange the life of one child for another. I remind myself of this so that I use the time I still have to pour love into my other two children.
I don't want to inadvertently "shortchange" my son and daughter because I am mired in grief. It is a choice. It is hard. It is necessary.
I also want to share "Andrew's Message" every chance I get. His message is the fragrance of Christ.
"But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him " 2 Corinthians 2:14 NIV.
~My Week in the Sun~
Amy & Melanie
Pear Break with My Girl at the Park
Holding Andrew's mini skateboard (Tech Deck)
Mom & Daughter spend an hour at the beach. (Good thing we live close by!)
Regina & Melanie walk the beach and wear khaki visors!
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Enjoying the warm, sunny, Florida weather, but I wish it would rain, a little.
ReplyDeleteI pray, the promise of Eternity keep pulling you through each day.
~Brandi
Oh how I LOVE Andrew's message! And you do such a WONDERFUL job of spreading that through all of your posts. Your pictures are so good. You are soo right of course... all of our lives here are soo fleeting. Nothing but a vapor. But eternity together with Him? Something to long for...HUGS AND BLESSINGS
ReplyDeleteI love you sis, praying you through. Andrews message will live forever.
ReplyDeleteI love the picture of you and your daughter on the beach and those pears look so delish!!!
ReplyDeleteContinuing to pray for you and your family. I read every post, but usually don't comment. All your writings are so inspirational, so real and so honest. Thank you for sharing. It gives us all hope, compassion and love for others . . .even those we don't personally know. And yes, life is only a breath. I just don't know what people do who don't have that certainty for eternal life with God and the certainty to see loved ones again.
ReplyDeleteI agree with what you have said but I will add to it, you should ask yourself what would Andrew want, would he want to come back here or to stay where he is......I think he should have a choice as well. I think my son would choose to stay with God even though I know he loves me........big hugs......:-)
ReplyDeleteMelanie,
ReplyDeleteYou mean so much to us. B
I don't know what to say, except you are wise and I love you bunches. :-)
ReplyDeleteWonderful post...
ReplyDeleteIt was rainy here today and looks like it will be that way ALL WEEK! I have been enjoying the sun and warmth more than I can say. I started reading your posts Untitled and could only get a couple of sentences in and couldn't handle going any further....my own grief wouldn't allow me to read. I have been dealing with those final weeks more in this past week and I just keep asking the Lord why and I want to remember the good not the pain.....it just continues to come ~ the visions and my heart breaks and the tears won't stop. No one seems to truly understand..they weren't there. Not that they don't care just that they don't understand. anyway, I am sorry I can't read them just yet but I will. In the meantime, I am praying for all of you and am praising God for the steps to healing I hear in your posts, i see in your face and I know one day at a time....and sending forth Andrews Message will bring healing and like you the HOPE of being with your sweet boy in Eternity carries us through because I can't wait to hug my Daddy and to talk for hours....
ReplyDeleteLove you Melanie
Love you Melanie! I continue to be astounded, encouraged and inspired by every single post that you write here. I love seeing your smiling faces in these pictures.
ReplyDeleteBig Hugs,
Alleluiabelle
Thank you again for sharing with us the journey you are on. We are witnesses to what God is doing in your life. And it is encouragement for us follow God more closely. And thanks for sharing the pictures. They were all so good!
ReplyDeleteThoughts...it seems hard to comprehend how hard it is. It makes me ponder my own situation. Thanks, Melanie.
ReplyDeleteOh wow - all that beach and sunshine!! I am enjoying our spring but you make the summer fun look like just that...fun! So sweet to see your smile:)
ReplyDeleteHi Melanie,
ReplyDeleteI remember standing by this turtle at Pier 60. If this is Pier 60 that is? I remember wanting to meet you at this place and Andrew getting sick just the week or so prior. I'm so sorry still for your loss. :( I can't imagine the grief and how it comes in in unusual ways at unexpected times.
Holding you up in prayer and thankful you are out enjoying your other children, husband, friends and the sun.
May the SON shine down on you more and more. May LOVE blanket you each and every day.
You're precious to me.
Love,
tiff
Wonderful post! So glad you were able to enjoy a special day with your daughter. Love the pictures of the pears...how sweet.
ReplyDelete~Christine
I get on here for comfort, it helps me to keep going. Although it has been three years since I lost my sweet boy, I still struggle everyday. There are days I wonder if I can go on and even though I have other children no one can take his place and the special bond we had.I see how much strenght you have and it gives me courage to keep on going. Bless you for being there for all of us who have lost a child, you are truly a special person. Mickey
ReplyDelete