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Aug 20, 2009

The 4 S's to Success ~ A Wife's Guide

“The 4 S’s to Success”
A Wife’s Guide to Helping Her Husband Gain the Winning Edge

Would you like to know how you can help your husband win at life, love and lunch?
There are 4 simple steps you can begin TODAY that will give your husband the winning edge.

The issues of life and love are obvious but, what you ask, does lunch have to do with anything?
Lunch refers to your husband’s job. Often in business, more is accomplished over a lunch or dinner meeting, than in a memo, fax or phone call.

Besides, I like alliteration, so lunch it is!
So what’s the secret to your husband’s success? You are!

Recently I was reading through Proverbs 31, starting with verse 10: “Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies.”

Yes, I am quite familiar with that verse as it is often the theme of events from Mother’s Day to Ladies’ Luncheons.
However, it is verse 11 that leapt off the page and smacked me in the head: “The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain.”

I carefully read it over and again. Yea, I even meditated upon it.

As a wife who loves my husband, I certainly want him to lack nothing and gain all God has available for him. And apparently I have a huge part to play in that plan unfolding.

As I pondered the truth of verse 11, the “4 S’s to Success” began to formulate.

S #1 Sex According to research by Shaunti Feldhahn, author of For Women Only What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men, "Your sexual desire for your husband profoundly affects his sense of well-being and confidence in all areas of his life."

I would like to add that from my own research and yes, personal experience, a wife needs to feel emotonally connected to her husband in order to get in the mood for sex, while a husband needs to have sex with his wife in order to feel emotionally connected. Ah...and there's the rub.

For more information regarding the fascinating & very eye-opening survey that Feldhahn based her book upon, you can go here and register for free access to lots of juicy information. Juicy in a totally good way.

S#2 Shhhhh…Keep his confidences.
This means that those things that my husband confides in me are meant for me and me only. He is more likely to open up about his “stuff” if he knows that I will not share it with anyone else.

S#3 Sis Boom Bah! Be his number #1 fan.
Since you married him, he must be exploding with good qualities. Why not remind him of them from time to time? You’ll build his confidence and make him glad he chose you!

S#4 Support him in being his best in a “no nag” kind of way.
“Support” means to hold up or add strength to. You don’t need a definition of “nag.”

We wives know full well what that means. We can do it with our eyes closed and one hand behind our back! If your current way of supporting your husband is not working, pray about a strategy that will work. A humble prayer for a Holy plan is an answered prayer.

When your husband feels safe with you, his chances of success skyrocket! Even when the issues of “life, love and lunch” don’t go according to his plan, he’ll still feel like a winner with a wife like you!

And that’s a win~win situation.


  1. Great post today. I too have "meditated" on that vs. 11. For yrs. now :) Really, I think I am (finally) doing a really good job of affirming and not nagging and keeping confidences and being a great wife. However, I really desire to be an excellent wife. Thanks for the encouragement --- today I'm gonna step it up another notch.

    Gwynie Pie @ The Pink Tractor

  2. does him good all the days of his life.Proverbs 31...I LOVE Proverbs 31 Woman and her example..

    Great devotional sister.

  3. You forgot an important one - sex. Yes, it's okay Christian ladies YOU ARE MARRIED. Sex makes your man feel loved, nurtured and important. So go for it. ;-)

  4. Thanks, Kelly. S#2 is a subtle shout out to that...perhaps too subtle?
    But you are absolutely right. Especially when there is stress b/c it's a stress reliever.

  5. Hi girl - yah - #2 is too subtle!

    Should be top #1 :))

    Sorry I've been so busy - need to catch up w/your blog! Hugs!

  6. LOL! I feel so important, that I got you to change your list! haha. I think it's right though. I am going to go check out that book too.

  7. Thanks for sharing these! Great reminders for encouragement and also holding marriage to the value that God has placed upon it!

  8. Wonderful post and truths! I totaly agree, and have seen God work through the 4 S's to help my husband through this transition time we are currently in.

  9. After reading this post I now realize why you and your husband are both smiling on the picture. You make a good looking couple, and I feel the things you shared are so necessary to be shared in today's world. It seems like marriages fall apart so easily today. Thank you for sharing this important info today.