In Good Company

A RAINY, YUCKY DAY
It is raining and thundering like crazy. I can't go for a run. I don't like to run inside so the treadmill at the Y is out. And I am eating way too much Back to Nature 100% Natural Chocolate Delight granola which by the way is a BoGo at Publix this week. 
I bought 4 bags.
Ted, the dog, is scared and is guarding my feet where they reside under my desk. Actually Ted doesn't care about my feet as much as he is simply hiding out under my desk. 
And I am feeling very out of sorts. This happens sometimes.

THE THING
I think I have arrived at that stage in my life in which, when I can't find something I just had in my hand, I FEEL like I am going CRAZY!
And then I dramatically exclaim, "I FEEL like I am going CRAZY!" and then I ask one of my kids or my husband, "Do you think I am going crazy?"
And the reply is usually "no" except when there is no reply. 

They say silence speaks volumes. 


Lately I have been losing coupons and keys. 

THE OTHER THING
My husband and I are really not much alike on a variety of subjects.
He likes naps. 
I don't.
Given the chance, he likes to sleep late.
Sleeping late makes me feel sick and lazy.
When he is stressed, he likes to sleep. 
When I am stressed, I have to move.(I don't mean for this list to be all about sleeping and naps.)
He likes Frosted Flakes. I like the healthy stuff.
He can skip coffee in the mornings. I require 2 or 3 cups.
He can go with the flow. I tend to want to control things.
I tend to use the word "tend" a lot. He typically uses the word "typically." A lot. Typically, that is. 
He pronounces this word: "pecan" like "pee-cahn" and with an emphasis on the "pee" part.
I say "puh-cahn" with an emphasis on "cahn."
He melts butters for his popcorn. I prefer sea salt - no butter.

And that's about it. Not really. But I'll stop now.


This is the point. Although my husband and I have many differences, on the really important stuff ~ we're on the same page.


This weekend we were driving somewhere and I had one of those crazy moments happen right before we left home. It was probably involving keys.


And I said to him, "Seriously, when things like that happen lately, I feel like I am going crazy!"


And he replied, "That's ok. We'll just go crazy together."


And I answered, "Good. 'Cause CRAZY likes company."


See? On the really important stuff, we're a lot alike.

The 4 S's to Success ~ A Wife's Guide

“The 4 S’s to Success”

A Wife’s Guide to Helping Her Husband Gain the Winning Edge

Would you like to know how you can help your husband win at life, love and lunch?
There are 4 simple steps you can begin TODAY that will give your husband the winning edge.

The issues of life and love are obvious but, what you ask, does lunch have to do with anything?
Lunch refers to your husband’s job. Often in business, more is accomplished over a lunch or dinner meeting, than in a memo, fax or phone call.

Besides, I like alliteration, so lunch it is!
So what’s the secret to your husband’s success? You are!

Recently I was reading through Proverbs 31, starting with verse 10: “Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies.”

Yes, I am quite familiar with that verse as it is often the theme of events from Mother’s Day to Ladies’ Luncheons.
However, it is verse 11 that leapt off the page and smacked me in the head: “The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain.”

I carefully read it over and again. Yea, I even meditated upon it.

As a wife who loves my husband, I certainly want him to lack nothing and gain all God has available for him. And apparently I have a huge part to play in that plan unfolding.

As I pondered the truth of verse 11, the “4 S’s to Success” began to formulate.

S #1 Sex According to research by Shaunti Feldhahn, author of For Women Only What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men, "Your sexual desire for your husband profoundly affects his sense of well-being and confidence in all areas of his life."

I would like to add that from my own research and yes, personal experience, a wife needs to feel emotonally connected to her husband in order to get in the mood for sex, while a husband needs to have sex with his wife in order to feel emotionally connected. Ah...and there's the rub.

For more information regarding the fascinating & very eye-opening survey that Feldhahn based her book upon, you can go here and register for free access to lots of juicy information. Juicy in a totally good way.

S#2 Shhhhh…Keep his confidences.
This means that those things that my husband confides in me are meant for me and me only. He is more likely to open up about his “stuff” if he knows that I will not share it with anyone else.


S#3 Sis Boom Bah! Be his number #1 fan.
Since you married him, he must be exploding with good qualities. Why not remind him of them from time to time? You’ll build his confidence and make him glad he chose you!

S#4 Support him in being his best in a “no nag” kind of way.
“Support” means to hold up or add strength to. You don’t need a definition of “nag.”

We wives know full well what that means. We can do it with our eyes closed and one hand behind our back! If your current way of supporting your husband is not working, pray about a strategy that will work. A humble prayer for a Holy plan is an answered prayer.

When your husband feels safe with you, his chances of success skyrocket! Even when the issues of “life, love and lunch” don’t go according to his plan, he’ll still feel like a winner with a wife like you!

And that’s a win~win situation.

Love Him Like No One Else

(Bella~Mella & One Fine Man)

Love Him Like No One Else

In January I shared a very intimate word that the Lord had given me to prepare my heart for what I knew not then. However, soon the reason for the preparation became quite obvious. The word the Lord spoke to my heart regarded loving my husband. HIS specific words were these, “Love him like no one else.”
(Go here to read the back story.)

Today I love my husband more than I ever have. I love him more now than the day I walked the aisle of a church in Georgia to stand at his side.

I love my husband more now than I did in the hours in which he was my labor coach (hee, hee, hoo, hoo). At the birth of our third child, I will never forget my husband’s compassionate gaze and his words, “You are my hero.” (‘So glad he did not say, “You are my hee, hee, hero!)

I love my husband more now than I did in the spring of our love. Besides even in the season of spring, storm clouds swirl and hard rains fall.

One summer our love suffered a season of drought. We sought shelter from the scorching heat and once again the Creator crafted something beautiful from dust. Our hearts could love again.

I love him more now than I did last year or even at the beginning of this year. Love grows when the weeds are pulled. Love grows when you water it daily. And love grows when its face is toward the SON.

Because I am loving him like no one else, Love has grown.

Update: One Fine Man is no longer using his crutches. He is limping but walking! The skin graft is almost completely closed up. He is back to work 100%. He has been riding a bike for exercise. He remains the ONE FINE MAN who has my back and holds my hand.

Part Two - From the Top of the Mountain

(To read part one, scroll down.)

Continued - Yet, with all of my thoughts of planning and preparation for the New Year, it was God who had done the planning. He had prepared my heart weeks before.
A day after the accident, I was standing in the hospital room and a memory flooded my mind. I was back in my bedroom, a few weeks before our trip, putting away clothes and God spoke to my heart. I remember the deep emotion that came with such a personal and humbling word that God spoke to me.

In room 205 at St. Anthony Summit Medical Center, after the first surgery of four, I stood looking at my husband lying in the hospital bed. The memory of the words from God pierced my thoughts. Silently I responded to God, “So this is why You spoke those words to me a few weeks ago. This is it.”

In an instant, I understood why God had spoken that particular message to me. At the time, I thought I would simply try to do better than I had lately. Yes, I would add it to the growing list of my New Year’s resolutions.

Now, blinking back tears and swallowing hard, I promised God, “I will do it. I will do what you told me only I can do.” What He spoke to me as I was in my bedroom weeks earlier is so personal that I hesitate to share it.

I remember exactly where I was standing when God directed my thoughts toward the losses my husband has endured.

When he was sixteen, his father died after suffering from leukemia, believed to be a result of Agent Orange while serving in Vietnam.

A few years ago, his oldest sister passed away from the cancer that had ravaged her body for months. My husband and his oldest sister had a bond that comes from sharing the same faith in God. Although my husband has three more siblings, unfortunately they don’t see one another often.

In the spring of 2008, his mother passed away. She, too, had been in and out of the hospital several times before she passed from this life.

Although my parents have their health challenges, especially my precious mother, they are still on this earth and I can call them anytime for a quick chat or a long conversation. I never doubt their love and they tell me frequently they are proud of me. It was my parents who drove hours to our home to stay with our children when I returned to the hospital in CO.

When God pointed out the losses my husband has dealt with, He also pointed something else out.

He started with a question. "If you don’t love him with everything you have, who will? No one else on this earth can love him like you can. LOVE HIM LIKE NO ONE ELSE."

And that was it. But with that, I thought about the times my actions were right but my heart was not. I thought about instances where I did not honor my husband like I should have. I thought about times I had turned away from him instead of to him.

Of course I know there is no perfect marriage because there are no perfect people. And even healthy relationships have their peaks and valleys. Ours certainly has. But there was not just a do~ing better that was needed here. Yet not the extreme requirement of a heart transplant. Just something of a heart make-over. Soften the lines, smooth out the creases, bring the color back, plump it up...A heart~lift.

Someone asked me recently why I think this happened. This is my response to that question. “Accidents happen. I don’t believe God caused it and I don’t believe it was an attack of the enemy. Accidents happen because we live in this world. But God knew it was going to take place. And in His kindness, He prepared me in advance to care for my husband through the healing process. Through the good times in life and through the bad, we have the opportunity to grow and to learn. If we are teachable, we will learn. God will redeem the right and the best from anything we experience. Will the enemy try to take advantage of the situation? He will most certainly use every trick he can. But we are always the victors through Christ.”

These past few days One Fine Man has been in a lot of pain. The pain at the wound site wakes him up. Last night he suffered terribly and we watched the clock for when he could take another pain pill. I moved closer to him, warming him and resting my hand on his chest. I began to pray for God to intervene. I hated to see him suffer and hated my helplessness. I asked if there was any thing I could do for him. He said, “Just stay beside me.” In the dark, tears sprang to my eyes and I shifted closer. I thought again about God’s words to me. LOVE HIM LIKE NO ONE ELSE.

I do. I will.

Sometimes God prepares our hearts in ways we cannot fathom for events we would not choose. What is God preparing your heart for?