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Jan 25, 2010

Toe "Jam", Ted, On Golden Streets

Last week, I got to "borrow" this little girly who just had her first birthday. She belongs to our friends. She liked "playing" my piano better with her feet than with her hands. My husband said to call this picture "Toe Jam." Good one, babe! Sometimes you are really quick. I'm glad I "let you catch" me all those years ago.


I am tempted to call today a "very bad, no good, horrible day." It had some bad moments. But thank God for friends who continue to let me cry on their shoulders. Thank God for friends who keep checking on me by phone, text and email. Thank God for friends who fix our dinner.

My husband started his new job today. My daughter was at work and my son went to a friend's house from school. So I had a few hours with only Ted for company. And he napped a lot. Someone asked me, in a comment or email, how Ted (the dog) is doing with Andrew not here.
Andrew posed Ted for this picture. He told me this is what Ted does when no one is at home.

Andrew posed Ted for this one, too. When we were in Gainesville at Shands Hospital, Andrew asked for pictures of Ted.

It will be 3 years in April that Ted has been with us. He was Andrew's birthday present when he turned 10. No one else in the family wanted a pekingese. No one but Andrew and me. My husband was out of the country and he did not want a small dog. Neither one of the other kids wanted a pekingese either because they "look funny with their smooshy faces."

When my husband agreed by phone that we could get the peke pup, Andrew and I agreed that we would take care of the puppy and no one else would have to do anything. He would be "our" dog.

My parents brought Ted from Georgia and Andrew and I walked his new puppy that day. In reality, Andrew and I walked while he held Ted in his hands. We had been thinking about names as soon as his dad gave the go ahead on getting the puppy. While puppy walking I said, "He looks like a little teddy bear." Immediately Andrew said, "That's his name. Teddy Bear." Teddy Bear became Ted. E. Bear. Then Teddy. Then Mr. Ted. Then Teddy Boo. Then Tuppy Wear which became Puppy Wear. But mostly, he's just "Ted."

When Andrew got tired of the "medical stuff" and the "medical people," he would look at me and say one word. "Ted." Only he always pronounced it like "TayId." Like the southern way of making 2 syllables out of a one syllable word.

So this is the thing. While Ted is Andrew's dog, Ted bonded with my husband the most. Even though Andrew LOVED Ted, it was disappointing to him that Ted didn't love him like he wanted him too. Still, even a picture of Ted made Andrew happy.

But now I see it is good. Because if I had to watch Ted looking around the house for Andrew and moping, it would just be really hard. And it's already hard enough. And that is only one reason I asked God to give Andrew a puppy in heaven. And I really hope He has.

Ted & Reese

Andrew loves Reese, too. He walked Reese several times a week. Reese is Ted's girlfriend. When Andrew needed a wheelchair, his dad would push Andrew and walk Reese. Andrew would "walk" Ted.

The wheelchair is in the garage.

Andrew is walking streets of gold.

He is WALKING! Not holding onto a wall and lifting his foot with his hip muscle.

HE IS WALKING. And I can't wait to walk with him again.

I can't help but wonder if Andrew is walking with Jesus, a puppy trailing at their feet.

"And he walks with me and he talks with me and he tells me I am his own. And the joy we share as we tarry there None other has ever known." (Charles A. Miles, 1913)

This one just makes me smile.

Thank you, again, for your kindness, encouragement and prayers. It means so much to me.


  1. Melanie, I have no doubt that Andrew is walking with Jesus and a puppy. :)

    You hang in there. We are all praying for your family.


  2. Tears...more tears. (((hugs))) I'm glad I could make you smile with my silly cheerleader uniform.

  3. Hi Friend, Glad you shared those chubby little toes...a bonus smile. I love this story of Ted. Dogs really do bond to a primary person. May Holy Spirit bring you a deep intimacy and comfort that your heart cries out for and only He can provide. Hugs, love and prayers.

  4. I was thinking of Andrew just this morning and thinking too that how wonderful that he's pain free and how he must be so full of joy. I wondered if those that have passed to Life with Him are straining to say to us "Don't be sad. I'm here, I'm alive! Where I am is so good!" Lots of other thoughts about the afterlife filtered through my mind too. But one thing that was most important in my mind was that for those that are grieving, we have to rest in the truth that they are alive and well and waiting to see us again. Melanie, you and your family continue to be in my prayers.

  5. I will just bet Jesus and Andrew have their own "pack of pekineses" trailing behind...not just one, not just 2, but an entire pack of Andrew's favorite breed. GOD doesn't do anything small. Look at the world HE created. He gave Andrew the ultimate healing and with it much, much more.

  6. I just stumbled across your blog, but I want you to know that my thoughts and prayers are with you! I have no words to say besides that...


  7. Sweet Melanie, I think of you often and pray for you every single time. May the God of all comfort continue to guard your heart and your mind. I'm sending big hugs from Texas.

  8. Aw, it was so nice to hear how Ted came to be part of your family. Thank you for sharing this story about Andrew. I feel like I know him a little more.

    Big hugs and prayers...

  9. Aw, that is such a precious post. That is the cutest picture of you two. And Ted is so cute. Praying for you all, sweet Melanie ~

  10. Who knew a dog could have so many names. I love Andrew's posed pics of Ted. Andrew and you look a lot alike. I'm sorry you had a horrible day Melanie. You are in my thoughts and prayers. b

  11. Hi Melanie,

    I have been by many times to visit and read and became a follower of yours a while ago.

    My prayers are with you and your family. There is no doubt in my mind that Andrew is walking with Jesus hand-in-hand talking, singing, laughing and enjoying his time throughout eternity with our precious Lord. What a sweet child and yes, he looks so much like you. He looks angelic to me...he really does. He was an angel sent to this earth...he was your angel boy and always will be. I bet he radiantly smiles down upon you and your family all of the time and is keeping his tabs on all of you too.

    Love you and my prayers are with all of you,

  12. I know Andrew is walking, and skating all over heaven with Jesus, and the cutest dogs ever. I love you sis.

  13. How darling was your "toe" player? I enjoyed your story about Ted the dog. I thought we were the only ones who had multiple names for a pet...lol We occasionally have silly little songs too. We also have a little dog..Elvis..who my daughter saved her money and oaid for, only to have Elvie bond to my husband, who really didn't want him much in the first place, haha, so when she married she left El with my hubby. She has a new one now, Baxter, whom she loves to pieces. I just KNOW Andrew has a new one too, and "walks" him (yes with his perfect walk) on those streets of gold. I love that you share these precious memories with all of us. The picture of the two of you is adorable. You can just feel his fun loving sweet little personality in all of his pictures. He looks so much like you. Still praying for you. Hugs, Debbie

  14. Melanie,
    Those posed pictures by Andrew are so cute!!! I love you dear one.

  15. My heart breaks for you, but I admire your strength and your faith so much.

    Hopefully, it's comfort to know that people (strangers) have your in our hearts, thoughts, and prayers.

    Melinda in Birmingham

  16. Melanie:

    Yes, I can just picture Andrew walking all over heaven with a puppy. Why not? Our theology may not be perfect here, but... we DO know the heart of God, and it would be so like Him... I like this picture!

    Praying for you and your family. When the ones so close to our hearts are already with Jesus, it sure makes heaven seem closer and more real.



  17. Hope you bad day gets a little better. It is hard to be home "alone". I find my days are easier when my husband is here with me.

  18. Beautiful post, Melanie. I like all the long names of Ted. The last picture of you two is cute. Was momma trying to convince him to get a hair cut? I'm sure there's a great story behind that one.

    What is it about baby feet? Why are they so darn cute?! Most baby feet look very similar too. The big toe kind of curls up. I'm not seen every baby toe but from what I've seen.

  19. Precious!!! Very precious!! Thank you for sharing with us. All my love, hugs and prayers...

  20. When my daughter was little she used to ask me if she would get to have her special blanket in heaven. I always assured her she will have whatever she needs when she's there.
    I'll bet Andrew has his puppy.
    Love you!

  21. Just want to let you know I' ve visited here before, when I clicked a Pray for Andrew button on another blog... and read about the recent sad events of your family...

    The way you share your grief, the pictures, the memories... makes it so easy for me to connect with what you are going through.

    My husband died a little over a year ago. I can relate to the pain so deep that words are never enough. Many times I have felt so alone in my grief because it IS true, we are alone in our grief. No one here on earth really has an idea...grieving is a very personal experience.

    I've found solace and comfort in embracing my grief, which I see is what you are doing, too.

    Only God understands and knows and truly cares , only God. Yes, you are right, we need Jesus. Sometimes life is hard. And we need Jesus. That is really all you have to say. That says it all.

    And Jesus has never failed us. He never will. Even in this difficult journey that you are on right now.

    I love the pictures of Ted...and all the other lovely pictures you share.

    THanks for opening wide the window of your heart for others to look in. You have a beautiful heart. May God visit you often with HIs comfort and strength.


  22. Melanie, keep those pictures of Andrew and Jesus walking with a puppy, those are being given to replace the ones you spoke of last week. You are seeing Andrew as he is now. Sweet, strong, happy and loved oh so very much! Love all the photos. How blessed you are to have them.

  23. Melanie,

    Thank you for stopping by over at The Point and being so real and transparent. God bless you and your family. I am so, so sorry for your loss. I have no way to even begin to identify with what you have been through, but please know that I esteem your struggle.


  24. Melanie, just before popping over here, I was listening to the "While I am Waiting" song...and never thought about how it applies to us who have lost loved ones before...

    I love all of Ted's nicknames. I love that you are sharing your memories! Thank you, it is a precious moment to mourn and rejoice with you at the same time.


  25. That was a good one, "Toe Jam".
    Ted is the cutest. Love to read your posts about Andrew. Still keeping you all in my prayers daily.

  26. Thank you Melanie, today I am thankful for all the same things as you. much love. meet with oncologist at 8:30 tomorrow morning. dr. rodriguez please call him by name in the throne room tonight. lisa.

  27. Melanie, this was a huge discussion in my Sunday School class recently. I KNOW that Andrew has a dog or two or three in heaven. You're right! He is walking dogs and he is skateboarding now! laurie

  28. They've said it all ... just came by to say hi and that I am thinking of you and your family. Blessings.

  29. I'm sorry you had a bad day, but I'm thankful that you had friends to help and support you.

    Isn't it funny, how a dog seems to attach itself to one person and not always the one you expect? I had to laugh about you getting the verbal okay from your hubby to get Ted. That's kind of how it was when we got our pug, Lucy (talk about a smushed face!). My hubby was deployed in the Navy, so I emailed and told him I was thinking about getting a dog and of course he said okay.

    And I have no doubt that there are plenty of puppies with Andrew now!

  30. Oh I love this post... the cute little feet doing the "Toe Jam" and the sweet story about Ted and Andrew. And I love knowing that your Andrew is WALKING in Heaven while that wheelchair is in the garage!

    I continue to pray many times a day for your family, Mel! Did your husband get a full time job? I'm praying for him, too...


  31. Melanie,

    I think of you and pray for you all the time. I know as time goes by, the e-mails and phone calls trickle off as people start to get back to their lives. I just want you to know that I'm remembering you today. And praying that God sustains you through every horrible day.

    Love, love, love,

  32. Oh Melanie,

    We are all here, praying and interceding for you and your precious family.

    Loved the story about Ted. I'm so blessed you have him now. Little did you know how much comfort he would bring to Andrew and to all of you.

    No matter what kind of day, hour, or minutes you have, Jesus is right there beside you. Loving you, holding you and comforting your heart.

    Keep clinging~

  33. Once again, O come to check on how your doing and end up leaving more blessed that when I came. Your honesty about your pain touches me so deeply and it must be so difficult for you at times, but I know God is faithful and your faith strengthens my own. I am sure Andrew is walking on golden streets and one day when I get there, I intend to look for him, I believe I will recognize him and will tell him I met him thru his mother's eyes. I am still praying for your family.

  34. That is a great picture Melanie! Ted is perfect.

    Oh, and the midwest can make two syllables out of a one syllable word too...I'm real good at it myself. My best word is home, spoken like poem..with 2 syllables!

    God bless!

  35. So thankful for Ted E. Bear, Mr. Ted's presence in your life. Undoubtedly he brings comfort to your heart in ways you never anticipated.

    Love the shaggy look Andrew sports in the final picture! Twins.


  36. Dear Melanie...

    Oh sweet sister, I am so so sorry to hear about Andrew. My heart is literally aching right now. Renee called me tonight and told me to please pray for you and for Lisa Smith.

    Please know I am praying for you and especially praying that God will continue to give you sweet reminders of Andrew's precious life. Reminders that heal and comfort in ways that can only come from God.

    I love that precious picture of you and Andrew with the long bangs look.

    Sending you my most fierce yet tender hug... Lysa

  37. Sweet Melanie,

    Thank you for sharing Ted and Andrew with us. I loved getting a glimpse into your heart and your story. I find comfort in picturing your sweet Andrew walking with Jesus and a puppy.

    Sending love and hugs and more prayers to you and yours.