On a pillow on the floor I lay face down this morning. I cried out to God to bring relief to you. I asked our Father for words to pray. Groaning in the Spirit I know He heard me. I reminded Him that we ARE walking by faith and not by sight. I asked, "What else can we do?" "How else should we pray?"
And it was then my ancient friend Rizpah, again, came to mind. Rizpah, who beat off the birds by day and the beasts by night. So I forcefully commanded the "birds" and the "beasts" to leave your bedside in the Name of Jesus, that matchless Name, under which every other thing that has a name has to bow.
I reminded our Father and I reminded myself that you are in covenant relationship with Almighty God. I told infection, nauseau, headache, pressure behind your eyes, the spirit of depression and all traces of cancer that their "game" is over. I told all of these unholy things to go to hell where they belong.
If an evil person entered our home, it would be unwelcome and I would scream and pick up the nearest object as a weapon. I would beat if off and away from you, your sister and brother. I would fight, scream, kick and bite the intruder. I would protect you with my own body and I would cry out to God to intervene.
Son, cancer is unwelcome. It is not our friend and it is evil. Cancer is cells gone ballistic. Even the oncologist agreed that cancer can be considered an intruder.
So there is no confusion, son, let me remind you that God is not the author of sin, sickness or disease. He is the healer. Remember the story of Joseph? I reminded you that Joseph's brothers had an evil plot to take his life. But God had a different plan for Joseph. God turned the tables on the evil plan and brought Joseph through every hard place and in the end, Joseph was a shining example of the intentions of God for each of his children. Joseph was a dreamer and God had a plan for the dreamer. And God has a plan for you, dear son.
Often over the past few years, I have heard you talking quietly and when I ask about it, you tell me that you are talking to yourself and that you do that a lot.
So don't stop talking to yourself. Remind yourself of God's goodness. Tell yourself that God IS your healer and that His plans for you are for hope and a future. Stir up the gift of God within you, evangelist. And then talk to others about loving, praising and living for God.
Son, you have much fruit yet to bear and I trust God to fulfill His plans in your life. You must trust Him, too.
Finally, sweet son, if you see my lips moving but don't hear words, you will know I am reminding myself that we WILL see the goodness of God in the land of the LIVING.
Rest well. You had a rough night and I will fight for you while you sleep.
I love you more than you could ever know.
Specific ways to pray today:
Pray for a stop to nausea and vomiting. This started again last night even though he is on zofran around the clock.
Pray for a stop to headaches and pressure behind the eyes.
Pray that the excess fluid in his brain begins to be absorbed into his body.
Pray that Andrew has real joy and happiness today. He is lonely for home.
Pray for no more roommates. This makes everything so much worse!!!
Pray that my husband, Dan, and I stay strong and encouraged so we can help one another and also keep Andrew in good spirits.
I have been so touched by your comments and emails. You really have no idea how much I rely on you. The days drag and the nights are noisy. But God is here. And so often you are His "hands" extended this way.