I'm blogging at www.melaniedorsey.com . Please join me there.

Jan 10, 2009

Do It Anyway...

Yesterday was a tough one. I was feeling isolated and cold. Cold physically and emotionally. Although normally I am interested in people and what is going on in their lives, yesterday I avoided all eye contact. I didn't want to touch anyone and I didn't want to be touched. My mind was weighted by how life in the short term would change...how new responsibilities would affect prior commitments. No answers.

My own negative thoughts were my enemy. I tasted my meaness.

In the midst of the crowd I retreated to a solitary place. Stand Strong, the book I had dropped in my bag before leaving home elicited a mixed response. Though I knew I was reading truth, I didn't want to do the work of standing strong.
I stand anyway...

I thumbed through various passages in my Bible, thinking how just the day before these same passages had brought life and hope. But now I felt hollow and empty. A fleeting thought of gratitude for the lamenting Psalms.
I read anyway...

By nightfall I had no eloquent words, no bright thoughts...just a borrowed bed for the hope of solace in sleep. I fell asleep cold.
I slept anyway...

Today is a new day. The words of truth from the day of despondency bypassed intellect, bypassed emotion. Dove deep into spirit. Deep called to deep.

Yesterday was Friday...but Sunday's coming. Grateful for His presence even when I don't run to Him.
I praise Him anyway...

(Stand Strong - Judy Jacobs)

7 comments:

  1. What BEAUTIFUL words today, Melanie. Reminds me of the Martina McBride song based on Mother Theresa's words.

    Bless you for doing it anyway!

    ReplyDelete
  2. O Lord, Infuse Melanie with your Strength. Wrap her in the warmth of your Love. Carry this burden for her and let your Presence be more than evident to her now. Bring physical healing to her husband, as well as emotional healing to her own spirit. In Christ - Amen

    ReplyDelete
  3. Melanie thanks for being real! We all find ourselves in this place from time to time. I am so thankful that our performance or lack of does not dictate God's love for us!
    I too, will continue to pray that God will pour his power on you through these challenging days!

    ReplyDelete
  4. "Be strong and of good courage! ....then you will be successful in everything you do... Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."
    My prayers are continuously for you.

    ReplyDelete
  5. This was so beautifully written and yet I know very hard. I pray the Lord strengthen you continually.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I saw the "Stand Strong" by Judy Jacobs. I have to tell you a story. I ran into her at the mall. No kidding. And she invited me to her conference, expenses paid. And at the conference she invited me to come up and speak. It was crazy!!!!

    Well, I am glad to see you are doing "it" anyway. I'm glad that YOU are b/c I don't feel I'm doing much of anything lately. I've never felt so slow in all of my life. I also haven't been able to sleep. This is why I am up past 2 AM, again!

    Maybe the slowness I am feeling is b/c God is about to move. Lord, please move. Breathe some life into these weary bones!

    And bless my sweet friend Melanie and her family! And speaking of bones, please heal her husbands.

    Keep us posted and if you need any extra help I am volunteering my sister who lives in St. Pete. You just let me know if you need her!

    Kara

    ReplyDelete
  7. In our darkest moment, in our brightest day...God is with us! We are never alone. I think sometimes when these feeling hit us we are either under attack or we are grieving for someone or something in our lives. We have to "just touch the hem of His garment" and our faith will make us whole. God Bless you richly!!

    ReplyDelete