I'm blogging at www.melaniedorsey.com . Please join me there.

Mar 9, 2010

I Know & Black/White Photos

Today marks 12 weeks since Andrew went to Heaven. I realize how awkward it must be to leave a comment. But I am so grateful for your visits, your words of encouragement and your prayers.

"Hang in there."
"Just take one day at a time."
"Don't rush."
"Keep putting one foot in front of the other."
"Stay busy."
"Just get up and move."
"Drink a cup of tea."
"Go for a walk."

These are simple words offered from caring hearts. People really care. This is what I know. And I try to do all of the above...except the hot tea. I am so blessed to have people in my life who continue to reach out to me even when I need lots of grace extended. The past few weeks have been so full of emotion...I have felt small and closed up and all kinds of ugly. Two days ago I knelt alone at the gravesite and pleaded for Jesus to help me...to help us. I trust Him. Always. Even though sometimes...life is hard to do. Even though.

I also know raw emotional pain from missing part of my heart. I know how quiet silence can be. I know that love is costly. I know the look of grief in the sets of eyes I see each day. I know the sound of many sighs. I know what our unspoken words express.

And today I told God, "I know You hear me when I pray."

"Father, I thank You that You have heard Me. And I know that You always hear Me..." John 11:41-42.

~~~~~~~~Black & White~~~~~~~~

Our oldest son, Avery ~ 2010


Our daughter, Audra ~ 2010 Our youngest son, Andrew ~ 2007

32 comments:

  1. They are all beautiful kids Melanie. I think of you all the time.

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  2. I don't know what to say Melanie but I love the pictures of the A's. Beautiful. Praying for you. b

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  3. What beautiful children.....having a rough day aren't you, no matter what any of us say it won't feel right or even be right, only your heart knows how you feel and only your heart knows what feels right, trust your prayers my friend, trust your heart.......:-) Hugs

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  4. xo. No advice no words just love to you and your family.

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  5. The pictures are beautiful...still praying everyday. Hugs to you, Deb

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  6. ((((hugs))) from this sister in Christ who is numb from what you're going through and can't understand but trusts that when I get to the other side, this will all make sense. Love you...

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  7. I have a dear friend who has walked the road you are on. She lost her daughter years ago. She has shared the dark, uglies with me. The grieving process is not pretty. She's shared the raw deal. She told me what hurt her heart and it was often well meaning Christians. I'm sorry.

    For me, I'm better off praying behind the scenes for you. And like you, I believe God hears my prayers.

    Love you...

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  8. I can't think of anything more difficult than losing a precious child. I like that you feel free to voice the good the bad and the ugly that you are going through. We are all hurting with you. Your children are so good looking! I am sure you each grieve differently.

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  9. Every time I visit your blog, you've changed the design. Glad to see you're keeping yourself busy. :-)

    Thinking about you and continuing to pray for you and your dear family.

    hugs...

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  10. Melanie,
    I admit there are times when I stop and read, yet don't comment because I'm not sure what else to say that I or others haven't already said. I am so grateful you are sharing thoughts regularly with us, as opposed to withdrawing. I am still so very sorry and I still pray for you and your family. I still cannot begin to fathom your pain. As Elizabeth Elliott says..."just do the next thing." My prayer is that the Lord continues to help you do just that. Much love & many prayers...

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  11. I love the pictures. No advice--- just tender prayers for a beautiful daughter of God and her family. You have three children, two who live with you and one who lives in your heart! Maybe you would like John O'Donohue. So deep and concentrated, soulful and eternal. He has touched my soul with every book.

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  12. AS usual, your posts are so real. I know it is hard to receive comments even though you know that people care. Sometimes there are just not words that are right. Sometimes the only thing we can see is that "we love you" and "we are praying for you". The pain is real and the journey is long....but as one who has walked thru a loss very similar, I can tell you that God will not leave you...His presence is there, when you can find it within yourself to receive it...which is not everyday of the journey. God loves you Melanie and your family...and you may never know this side of heaven why this happened...but I know that I know that even in our loss...He loves us. And so many of us weep with you and pray with you.........and we are there with you.

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  13. God bless you Melanie for your honesty and your incredible faith. It can't be easy and I certainly can not relate to everything you're feeling...but know that your family is in my prayers!

    You have a beautiful family...your forever family of five!

    God bless you my friend!

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  14. I'm so glad He does hear...

    Love you Melanie~

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  15. Your babies are beautiful. Just like their mamma.

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  16. Melanie: i have never had the opportunity to meet you. I hope to get to do that some day. I started following your blog not long after your Andrew got sick. And I cried the day that he went to Heaven. I have never been forced to face that grief with a child that i was able to love in life for all the years that you had Andrew. I lost three pregnancies, and that was hard. But I can't imagine getting to know personalities and little quirks and then having to let them go. But God will get you and your precious family that remains on earth, through this. I pray for you every day that the pain will lessen. Take a walk and smell the spring air that is trying to move into the country. God is there. It may not feel that way a lot of days, but He is. He loves us, He loves you. May He show you each day how to smile a little more. No hot tea??? How about some lemonade with a little cherry juice in it?? YUMMY! Prayers...Pam LeGrand, Edmond, Ok

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  17. Wonderful pictures..He hears you and cries with you and holds you close....Just Breathe...

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  18. I'm so sorry that you have to know this kind of pain. I prayed for you today.

    Those are some precious pictures!

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  19. Precious pictures, sweet friend ~ Praying for God's comfort, peace and healing for you all ~ Love and Hugs ~

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  20. Your right, sometimes it is hard to find the words. Mostly, I just want to say "I'm here and I care about you." I know how I feel, my heart hurts, for you. I know how much I love my children, and I can just feel from a mother's heart. There can be nothing in this life more painful.

    Like many sisters here, I think of you often. Different events of the day bring you to mind. Like today, I watched a movie called, "Though None Go With Me." It was about a woman with unwavering faith even as she endured heartbreaking loss. Through it all she trusted God. I see that in you!

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  21. Hugs to you, mama Dorsey. BIG HUGS.

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  22. <3 *BIG HUGS, MUCH LOVE & MANY, MANY PRAYERS* To you, your family and loved ones. <3

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  23. I think you ae doing wonderfully. It is going to take a longggg time for it not to be so raw. Every day has a bit of joy in it...you will see it again. I know that from experience. I hope you find something to really enjoy this week...even for just a couple of minutes!

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  24. I check often. I pray for you. The tears flow. I don't know what to say. But God calls us to rise above our own sorrow to lift the other up, so thank you for that reminder. Even in your unspeakable season, you encourage others.

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  25. You know one of the things I love most about God. He reads even our tears. The tears that flood our soul are incense to His nostrils. They are the offerings of the heart.

    There are no suggestions I could offer you.... instead I offer you love and groans from my heart for you to His ears. For I know that Jesus reads our groans and goes before the Father on your behalf.

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  26. Now we sit with you precious sister. We sit and we cry and we pray and we sit...((hugs)) I love you Melanie and I thank God you are able to share your raw emotions with us. I sit with you precious sister...I know you know, and I KNOW I'm not the only one, but God does bring you to our hearts and minds many times throughout the day. You and your family and Andrew...and we stop and we pray. We cry and we pray...I love you my dear sister.

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  27. My love and prayers remain with you Melanie and your hubby and children. The photos are beautiful.

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  28. What beautiful children you have, all 3. I hear the grief in your words, and it is so hard to daily remember that God is there and knows each feeling. In the midst of grief, you don't always FEEL his presence, even though in your heart you know He's with you. Spurgeon's quote helped me during a really hard time..."Faith is the hand that grasps"... sometimes it's all you can manage that day. Our prayers for you continue. It's a painful process and my heart hurts for you.

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  29. I echo the sentiments of the others, spoken with far more eloquence than I can muster. I am praying for you. Reading your writing helps me better understand what my friend who just lost her son might be going through. God is speaking through you. Be blessed my friend.

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  30. Mella...I was just telling my friend this morning over coffee about you. I told her how special you were. And how this beautiful gift you had is now in heaven. We both had tears.
    You are not alone. People all over are praying for you and thinking of you.
    I believe the Father is tenderly leading...He is not a God who does not meet us in the darkest pit of our lives. He carries us out.
    I know you know that but today I felt like he wanted you to hear it again. He is here....in the silence....in the dark...in the pain....He is crying with you. I am too!

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  31. Thinking of you, praying for you, and loving you.

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