Fierce, Forever and Farrah

A mama bird built her nest in a poinsettia plant that sits in a basket right outside our front door. We were just about to remove the Christmas plant when we noticed the nest. That mama bird is an inspiration. She took good care of her eggs and now she is protecting her young ones! Sometimes I am hesitant to come and go through our front door. She is ever watchful and even when not in her nest, she is never too far. We have experienced her fierceness for her family.

I am still on my mission to pray for "the family." We must be FIERCE when it comes to our nests!

My older son enjoyed his mission trip to Montana. I am getting the "story" in bits and pieces. I hope to have some good pictures soon.
While he was gone, I spent time going through my boys' room as I organized, cleaned and sorted through clothes and "boy stuff." I cleaned and cried...cleaned and cried.
They have shared a room since Andrew was born. Next month is Andrew's 13th birthday. We are approaching another "first" without our Andrew. Easter. I have the most precious pictures from Easter's past with my three children.

This year Andrew will celebrate the risen Lord with Him! I am envious. Andrew has begun his FOREVER with Jesus.


Yesterday I got my hair cut. Finally! It seems that just when I got good at flatironing, the big curls are back! Sometimes I just use the Fox News women as my fashion guidelines (minus the cleavage and short skirts). I noticed they went from straight, smooth hair to big hair with loose curls and waves!

When my husband got home from work, he called me "FARRAH." It's not THAT 70's!

Later,
Melanie

Enough!

The devil doesn't give you a break. He is evil and delights in kicking you when you are down. He will look for a weakness in you. He will search out and target for destruction what you treasure most. He is not your friend. He is your enemy. He will not give you a break. He keeps on coming.

He hates "the family."

The only real strength we have is found in Jesus. Even when we don't see an answer, we have THE ANSWER.

My heart has been broken and stepped on over the past few months. We are in a world that is cursed and we live with the fall-out. I have cried and prayed until my eyes were burning and swollen and my voice was raspy. I have lost my appetite and weigh less than I did when I got married. It has not been a chosen diet and my weight is less today than it was even 4 days ago. Stress causes my stomach to go into knots and I cannot eat. Having said all of that, I KNOW my source is God and His Word and I am feeding on it! I am pouring myself out before the Lord and believing and trusting that His plans will prevail regardless of what may come around the corner.

GREATER is He who is in me than he that is in the world.

Saturday I decided it was time to get my strength back because I realized that the devil ~ just calling him what he is ~ wants to destroy my family and yours, too. Why would he stop with one or two or a million?

Please join me in praying for "the family." I know ours needs the prayer support. Does yours?

ENOUGH is ENOUGH!

If your family needs prayer, just let me know in a comment or you can email me. My address is in my profile. I don't need details but I will be happy to add your family to my prayers. I am beginning The Family Prayer List for my personal time before the Lord.

Fighting for "the family,"

Melanie

Come On In...Coffee?

I have a very sweet story to tell but it is not for today. Something happened Sunday afternoon and I want to share that very soon.

Today I am just going to open my home to you and invite you in for a cup of my new favorite coffee: Tully's Extra Bold French Roast.

(There is a story behind that coffee cup, too.)

Audra is swimming, biking and running...registering for lots of spring 5k's.

She is my favorite song writer!

(HS graduation party '08 ~ Andrew in the background)

Avery is leaving for a school mission trip to Montana this Saturday. They will be serving at a reservation under the leadership of missionaries.

(photo ~ 2010)

They will have a day planned for skiing, too. I'm sure my boy will enjoy showing off his snowboarding skills and I will be praying, praying, praying...
(photo ~ 12/08)

Andrew is enjoying Eternal Life in Heaven...I saw his face so clearly in my dreams last night. I love his face. I love him. I miss him so much. Next month we will celebrate his birthday (13). I am planning to make his favorite dessert.

(photo ~ '07)

My husband is THE BEST. I have a story in my head about him that I have never written. I'm looking forward to getting it on paper.

(photo ~ 12/08)

Ted is a spoiled little dog. Andrew used to ask me if I had kissed Ted on the head for the day. I only did it when Andrew insisted on it. But now I do it everyday. I kiss Ted on the top of his warm little head and I say, "This is for Andrew, Ted."

(video of Ted below)

We have friends coming in a couple of weeks. I am looking forward to it. They are "family kind of friends."

Every Wednesday I walk with one of the most Jenuine of women I have ever had the privilege of knowing. We walk at a local park or trail. Avery says that he is part of her family. Isn't that great? I love that!

She makes delicious banana pudding for us.

Yesterday while walking, my friend and I saw an alligator at the water's edge. We decided to pet the gator.

photo ~ http://www.mthurricane.com/alligator.htm




(Just kidding!) She doesn't make banana pudding for us.











(Just kidding!!!)We didn't get that close to the alligator. And she DOES make banana pudding for us.

I videotaped Ted today. That always makes Andrew happy...videos and pictures of Ted.
Be forewarned: I am guilty of "baby talk" to Ted. He is a widdle baby.

Azure Heavens

"Azure Heavens"
by Melanie Dorsey

In quietness and solitude I place my heart into Your hands.
I spread my treasure at Your feet.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
And wait.

In pensive silence
Above the sounds
The whirring workings of my soul,
My inward eyes scan far beyond
Earth’s splendid azure heavens.

In wonderment I dare believe that each new sky
Of pink, coral and amethyst
In Sunrise
Or Sunset
Again embrace us in its glow.

In dark places
Or colorings vibrant,
Your amber eyes and honeyed hair,
Your artist’s hands with tender touch
No film nor canvas hold.

(photo by Linda Charlene)

Passion & "Pi"

Yesterday I got an email from my son's geometry teacher. It made me smile. Her email is below. My son has a passion for "Parkour," the physical discipline of training to overcome any obstacle. When our boy, Andrew, went to Heaven on 12/15/09, his older brother said his parkour training is now dedicated to Andrew. Below are photos of Avery's parkour tricks.




Some of the kids wrote Pi poems for our Pi Day party today– which means that the number of letters in each word of the poem is a digit of the irrational number pi. The poem could have any theme they wanted. Most of the poems were fun and silly.

Avery’s was maybe a glimpse to his heart and thoughts:

Pi Poem - (by Avery)

“Can we as mortals understand the Almighty power of the Creator?
I say we cannot, that it is something greater.
Life is a meaningless rift?
I come, I go, I lie, I live.
Being alive a wonderful gift.”

The Bootstrap Award

When I taught school in rural Georgia, deserving students received awards at the end of each semester. Some of the students were honored for having perfect attendance or a high gpa. Only one student’s name was called for the Bootstrap Award.

The recipient of the Bootstrap Award was determined by the teachers. This award did not go to the student with the highest gpa, the most popular, the best dressed, the most helpful nor the teacher’s pet.

The Bootstrap Award was given to the student who, through sheer determination, mental elbow grease and a change in attitude, pulled himself up by his own bootstraps to improve his performance at school.

In front of an assembly of peers and faculty, the Bootstrap Award was the finale of awards. A collective breath was held and a silent drum roll beat in the hearts of the students.
“And the Bootstrap Award goes to…”
Wild applause. Foot stomping. A rogue whistle.

Every Bootstrapper had one thing in common. Before the change in performance, the improvement in grades, the attitude adjustment, there was a choice made.
Before quiz grades improved, homework handed in and surliness softened, the hardest work came first – the choosing.
The choice, an invisible flick of a flame. Imperceptible yet powerful. It must come first. It must come.

“Yet what shall I choose…” Philippians 1:22.

“And the Bootstrap Award goes to…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

EDITED TO ADD: (My pick for the Bootstrap Award goes to the one in the picture above...my boy, Andrew.)

I Know & Black/White Photos

Today marks 12 weeks since Andrew went to Heaven. I realize how awkward it must be to leave a comment. But I am so grateful for your visits, your words of encouragement and your prayers.

"Hang in there."
"Just take one day at a time."
"Don't rush."
"Keep putting one foot in front of the other."
"Stay busy."
"Just get up and move."
"Drink a cup of tea."
"Go for a walk."

These are simple words offered from caring hearts. People really care. This is what I know. And I try to do all of the above...except the hot tea. I am so blessed to have people in my life who continue to reach out to me even when I need lots of grace extended. The past few weeks have been so full of emotion...I have felt small and closed up and all kinds of ugly. Two days ago I knelt alone at the gravesite and pleaded for Jesus to help me...to help us. I trust Him. Always. Even though sometimes...life is hard to do. Even though.

I also know raw emotional pain from missing part of my heart. I know how quiet silence can be. I know that love is costly. I know the look of grief in the sets of eyes I see each day. I know the sound of many sighs. I know what our unspoken words express.

And today I told God, "I know You hear me when I pray."

"Father, I thank You that You have heard Me. And I know that You always hear Me..." John 11:41-42.

~~~~~~~~Black & White~~~~~~~~

Our oldest son, Avery ~ 2010

Our daughter, Audra ~ 2010 Our youngest son, Andrew ~ 2007

There Is A Place ~ Morning Poetry

"There Is A Place"

by Melanie Dorsey

There is a place
Where there are no takers.
No hands raise
Like the elementary child
Who wants to hear,
“I see your hand.”
“You are the one.”

There is a place
Where dreams are dashed.
No hearts would go
Lest they were sent.
An off beat military
Who march to sounds
The rest can’t fathom.

There is a place
Where joy is fleeting.
No sure tomorrow
Lets fear be prey.
Forehead creases,
Ears keep straining
Listen for familiar timbre.

There is a place
Where still I stand
No captor’s easy spoil.
Let this heart
Beat an upward song.
“I see Your hands.”
“You are the One.”

(photo by Linda Charlene)

Winged Man ~ Morning Poetry

When I reread this "Gideon" post (3/4/09) today, I wanted to get some words out of my head and onto paper. (photo by Linda Charlene)

"Winged Man"

by Melanie Dorsey

~~~

Wheat in a winepress
Little man’s solution.
Themeing,
Scheming.
Tribal survival,
In need of revival.
“Winged Man, arrive.”

Word from the Holy One
A mind revolution.
Ceasing,
Fleecing.
In fear of the unknown,
In mind of the well known.
Winged Man arrives.

Weak in a wild place
Pain’s evolution.
Fearful,
Tearful.
Fetal
In a dark room.
“Winged Man, arrive.”

Worn in the waiting
Offering oblation.
In spite of the unknown,
In loss of the well known.
Blind
In the God womb.
Winged Man arrives.